I thought it was me. All those years I thought it was me, that I wasn’t—smart enough, pretty enough, clever enough, good enough—you know, loveable. Something didn’t add up, but I didn’t know what it was, so the only answer left to me was to try harder. I carefully picked out clothes and counted every …
Category Archives: judgment
The Plague of Seriousity that Consumes Most Lives
By many of the comments my posts receive or messages that are sent, it seems that a lot of people see me as a bit of a paradox. The questions that float in the air are understandable. Heck, in fact I’d be surprised if they weren’t. Minds want to understand even though that is impossible, …
Trying to Make Life Sit and Stay
7 lessons learned the hard way Whatever practice resonates with you, do that. It’s not as if you could choose not to. Just don’t expect it to end suffering, not the worlds, nor yours. Damn those expectations. 😉 Practices are everywhere. They come in all shapes and forms, some you’d call a practice and …
The End Times: not what you think
Last night, after my delightful birthday, I sat in bed meditating and the end times, the ones so many Christians are cheering for, hoping to see in their lifetimes, in the next few years preferably, popped into this awareness. What I heard were the words, ‘What makes you think that we aren’t going through the …
The Collapse of Soul-deep Resistance
There has been resistance deep in my soul. I, like so many, have always found it agonizing when people are hateful to one another, when we act in ways that are beyond this sensitive’s ability to comprehend. It wounds me in ways no words could ever truly express when humans act like monsters, when my …
The Enchanting Alternative World
What a wonder each day is! Today turned the key of pure delight. It started with a walk in the woods, a visit to the gnome trail, and Sophia joyfully splashing in the little creek both coming and going and segued into planting a field of flowers where lawn once grew. The gnome trail is …
Storybook Lives
Now don’t get pissed. Guessing a few of you will, but oh well, this is what’s coming through today. Each of us is a master storyteller living our own unique version of life. We think that our story is THE story, that our truth is THE truth. It isn’t. It is just our version of …
The Juice of Transformation
lies in the heart of chaos … Are you wondering whether you should leave your spiritual practices and spend your time resisting the harm being done? Are you trying to decide if you should quit spending so much time on your own baggage and instead, help to allay the suffering of others? Your wondering is …
Is it possible to thrive in an era of radicalization?
Radicalization is fascinating to me. The word applies to religions, politics, social norms, personal expression, even our self-talk and the way we respond to one another. It’s an all-purpose term. The more radicalization worms into the mind, gut and heart, the greater the inflexibility is. Radicalization is another word for intolerance, for judgement, for knowing …
Bridging the Ever-Widening Gap
There are infinite responses available to us as we approach possibly the last (anything’s possible) peaceful handover of power on January 20th. Several come to mind: unbridled anger, deep and clawing angst, suffocating depression, willful ignorance, and feigned neutrality that would put Switzerland on notice. Oh, I forgot myself for the moment. Geez, can’t forget …
It Doesn’t Bode Well for Love
I’m not sure why sleepless nights are so rich with insights. Regardless of reasons, and mind can come up with a million possibilities, mine are. Maybe the breakthroughs require the freshly broken sense of control. I mean really, if we can’t control whether we fall asleep, what can we control? Last night I couldn’t …
The Golden Idols of Our Lives
People want to use spirituality just like they want to use God. Fix me. Heal me. Help me. Awaken me. Overcome my enemies. Help my side win. People use money, power, force, and other people, exerting influence to the same end. There’s not a lot of difference between any of them. Some propel the world …
Walking Away: Leaving the Guru Behind
Many years ago, when I knew I needed to walk away from a teacher, I struggled. To leave would mean leaving my community behind and that broke my heart. My inner knowing was strong and persistent as hell, so I knew I couldn’t stay. I didn’t truly know why I had to leave; I just …
Understanding Love: Unveiling the Truth About Love and Judgment
I don’t do Bible stuff. I walked away from that world years ago when I saw the hypocrisy, the disguised hate, the inbuilt need to feel special, chosen. I was just a teen when I realized that something was drastically wrong with the religion that I had been raised in, so imagine my surprise when …
The Myth of a Vengeful God
This is a bit of a long, playfully snarky satirical piece. I had no idea where this one was going until I was done. If you are easily offended, happy with your Bible stories, and your version of forgiveness, you might want to skip this one. What must it be like to believe in a …
Amaya Gayle 