Applause for Silent Presence, Grief’s Unfolding Promise
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Many months before Ken’s death, his soul reached out to Gayle and shattered her understanding of reality. With six simple words, delivered in an explosion of energy, not unlike the Starship Enterprise shifting into warp drive, he set Gayle upon a collision course with every belief that comprised the fabric of her life. The words: “This cancer is my gift to you.” Nothing more; just a short sentence she thought she understood. She didn’t. If she hadn’t been holding on to the back of Kenny’s chair, she would have been knocked to her knees by the blast. And, that was nothing in comparison to what would follow.
Silent Presence comes from the very personal, direct experience of Gayle Amaya Gregory. Her words are self-aware, honest, raw and unprotected. She chose to accept Ken’s gift, to squeeze every lesson from his life, and the perfection of his death. She understood the gift’s power and wasn’t willing to miss one breath of the experience.
Gayle thought she lived in the present moment. Watching Ken, she realized that she didn’t. Ken embodied the present moment during his last months with his willingness to be present to his life and all it held, including the experience of his death, of leaving everything he loved behind. Ken’s life became the teaching, and through his conscious death, he teaches still.
Silent Presence documents the path of return. It is both a shamanic journey into fear and death and the slow dawning of remembrance, the return to True Nature, the I Am That I Am. As it passes through the ripping, pain-filled, mind quieting, heart opening lessons on its journey Home, it provides evidence of the heart’s triumph over mind’s trust in limitation.
To someone watching from the outside, the problems of life might seem unchanged, but that would be wrong. They have changed; the choices and perceptions, and exquisite peace and absolute freedom bear no resemblance to ordinary experience. Answers flow easily from within the heart itself. Life is realized to be Consciousness creating, perfect and pure. It is something that cannot be described, only lived. Ken’s gift is that this is Who We Are; and the experience of it is always available right now.
An excerpt
09.05.11 Miracle
What is a miracle? Is it Ken continuing to live here in human form
or is it something more? The very fact of his life, the presence I feel so deeply, that I feel him still, that is the miracle. Kenny’s life, his death, and now the presence that he is, tutors me. I owe this Being so much. Thank you my love. Thank you for everything you give me.
Applause
Amaya, this is NOT “Kenny’s story,” or even YOUR story of this passage you shared with him, but rather it is OUR (collective) story … a story not of death and dying, a story of choosing to fully live. Silent Presence captures the struggle of being in a body, the immense pain-confusion-disappointment-fear of being in a body, and the joy of growing awake to the Presence that lives beyond (and sometimes through) the body. It is a brilliantly written reflection of how a mind can release its hold through a process of physical death and dying, but more importantly it is a vivid reminder to let life have us, completely and without reservation. It is a call to open our hearts more widely than we might know how to do. Thank you, ever so much, for the beautiful-eloquent-radiant way your words capture the passage of one beloved and open the way for the Beloved to live more boldly … here, now. SG, Idaho
Kenny said cancer was his gift to Amaya. Reading this book was a gift to me. Thank You so much for it allowed my own processing of pain and emotion as I experience the declining health of my partner. Much that Amaya reveals, with such raw honesty, is the same experiences and feelings that I have had. This sort of pain is a stripping away that exposes a person’s core. Amaya’s journey has inspired me with the courage to view death and dying as a gift of the soul. As I read, my image of both Kenny and Amaya was of a layered stone, polished by the experience to reveal the beautiful crystal, gifted to each other through spirit. PD, Washington
Amaya, I have finished your book and am filled with your soulful experiences. You have entered my dreams, as has your owl. A flicker of the wings catch the setting sun and there is a surprise glow and an unexpected communication. I didn’t expect to find a message along the road. It’s usually a lessor being. Never have I seen a golden colored eagle on the road side or had a wing catch the setting sun. That this should happen as I travel the road with the essence of your story seems like a communication at another level. It was a blessing, as you are to all of us with your ongoing exploration of the sacred life experience. VS, Portland
Amaya, I am loving your book (although book is not the right word – testament of Love perhaps). I received it in the mail yesterday and I am already up to Spring 2008. This book is so very beautiful . . . the quality of the print, the pictures, the anticipating of each new awakening that you reveal in these pages takes my breath away. I love the quotes at the beginning of each new section. Thank you, thank you for bringing this forth. As I type these words, I feel your presence surrounding me and the love that you offer is present here now. With love and gratitude, NV, Idaho
Last night, reading your writing, being swept into your journey, making notes of wonderful things to tell you about your writing, resisting my own urge to journal and even have a journaling conversation with you that might continue for years, so many questions. JG, Costa Rica
Your book is an amazing story of your spiritual journey – if I may call it that – unfolding in a way that was so intertwined with life and it’s tragedies . . . it was well worth my time and attention. Your story with Ken is very inspiring and I’m sure it can help people going through similar circumstances. Something towards the end that jumped out at me, when you wrote: “Life constantly shifts and changes, fine-tunes and remakes itself. Nothing is permanent. Nothing remains the same. All is fluid, a flow of pure experiencing. I once wrote that matter doesn’t matter. I now see that everything matters.” It’s my experience that nothing is still, everything changes in the moment but I can only appreciate that from a place of directly being stillness. And being aware that nothing, ever, is missing. I think you said all that so well. JW, California
The book is well written. Actually, I couldn’t put it down and read it over one weekend. So touching, the love, the essence; the journey she shared with her husband, Kenny. Their five year journey with cancer. To live candidly as they lived, to travel with them as he transcended the physical to Spirit. Their lessons, their pain, their sorrow, her loss, their loss yet their love that was there through it all. The cancer was and has been her teacher. Her key to unlock so many doors, answer so many questions, the gifts she received and continues to receive through Kenny the physical and Kenny the Spirit. What a story of love, light and wisdom. May you find the nuggets you need to find when you read the book, Silent Presence. BK, Oregon
Wow……I just read the last of the book half an hour ago.The connectivity is ecstatic. Thank you for your communication.The friends I live with and am helping are doing an amazing job through her chemo. M is half way through this round and they are going to the gym, are out and about, and loved eating the meal I cooked them Thanksgiving. Getting this e-mail at this time is truly a “plump moment”. B will be going in for a new valve in his heart soon, so we’ll have another adventure ahead! You have given me some new heart muscle! You are a treasure Amaya Gayle! LS, Montana
Amaya’s book, Silent Presence, kept me up every night until I read every page. She takes you on the most intimate journey as she questions deeply the reason for her husband Kenny’s cancer and comes to grips with the fact that death is not the end of the relationship, but only a shift. This book is one we all should read and digest. PH, California
Jude gave me a copy of your book, I began it Saturday and just finished it this morning. THANK YOU!!! what a powerful book, THANK YOU!!! I will promote it among my friends and on Facebook. You are a very good writer, able to articulate your experience in a manner easy to absorb, even when the material is “raw”. The ring of authenticity is loud and clear. Kenny must be smiling. Your journey has elements so close to mine, and I am sure close to the experience of many other women. SB, Costa Rica
Amaya Gayle 