No Past, No Future

There is no past. There is no future. These aren’t just words. They don’t point to something at a mysterious or quantum level. They are much more valuable than nearly all words in any language but you need to go deeper than a mental understanding to grok what they offer. You have to go into …

Broken

I am broken. Profoundly broken. Humpty Dumpty broken. Having seen through the veils of separation, rather than a life of bliss, I find my inherent brokenness — that which I ran from, that which pushed me into self sacrifice and sucked out all that I was — still here, the same but different. I taste …

I Exist

I am. That is undeniable and yet it felt in the beginning like I am not. The I that is not, that seemed to have disappeared, is what many call an ego. It is not gone, non-existent, rather is it filling its intended role instead of wreaking havoc, creating veils, pushing itself to fix, change …

I’m Sorry

Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” Do you remember that quote? Does understanding the perfection of our experiences, that everything happens as it does and that we learn and grow from it as we can in the moment, mean that we forgo the shared connection, that we overlook the cry of pain? Even …

WHO ARE YOU? Who cares? Who are you anyway? Thoughts don’t think. Emotions don’t feel. Sensations don’t hurt, don’t heal. Who hurts?Who suffers?Who believes anything? Isn’t it simply another thought that says, I thought that? Isn’t it just one more thought that takes an emotion and makes it into something other than a passing fancy …

A Dream in GodMind

Tears are running down my cheeks. God, I love life. I read this quote, “If you could see your whole life start to finish, would you change anything?” With that simple question I dropped to my knees. There is nothing I would change, nothing I could change in this holy hologram, and knowing that, accepting …

Priceless

Give it an inch and it takes a mile. Life is always asking for a deeper letting go. Its ‘asks’ keep getting more and more subtle. The difference between holding on and letting go, unequivocally letting go, is nearly indistinct. My body reacts, holds on when the many PVCs fire off. Since I’ve a bit …

Looking For God

Life as a separate self is a shadow’s thread of reality, and yet we cling to it, desperate to continue what we believe to be life. It seems we fear death but we do not. We fear the truth, our true nature, what we sense as nothing, not understanding that nothing is actually no thing. …

Life Itself!

Identity is a sneaky rascal. ‘I am not’ can become one as easily as mother, feminist, father, actor, actress. It seems to be a last ditch effort of the character to ensure the movie’s not cancelled, to set a hook in the ephemeral screen, in video gameland. What is it that is desired so primally, …

Landslide

My friend Anrael wrote this of my last post, God and the Dark One: “There’s a shift pointed to in this writing that works it’s way through the entire system, including organs, bones, nervous system and brain functioning. A different implicit understanding of Isness inhabits the body system by system and cell by cell…gets lived …

God and the Dark One

Rand: I’m going to kill the Dark One. I’m not just going to seal up the Dark One, I’m going to end him. Moiraine: The dark one is beyond killing.Rand: I think I can do it …Moiraine: The Dark One is part of the Wheel.Rand: No. The Dark One is outside the Pattern, not part of …

The Meaning of Life

What are we here to learn? Or, are we here to learn anything? There seem to be as many different versions as there are people. Another way to word this is, “What is the meaning of life?” I’ve always gravitated towards to the big mysteries of life locked away just out of sight: free will …

Magical Thinking (revisited)

… so many edits I rewrote the darn thing. Magical thinking is often based in truth so it feels right, seems real. Something within us just knows it is true. And yet, living the reality it points to requires radical embodiment that nearly always lags behind the initial awakening. Magical thinking is fun. It often …

Source Code Genesis II

In October of 2013 I wrote a post called Source Code Genesis. (linked below) It represented a considerable breakthrough in my thinking at the time, helping me see how physical injuries are prolonged, solidified in the 3D. I discovered a process whereby I stepped back and back and back — one step at a time …

Do you mind what happens?

It is such a paradox, a bloomin’ conundrum, a question for the ages: If I don’t actually exist, why does it feel like I have choice, like I make decisions? Either the mystics are wrong and you do exist, or there’s more to this than meets the eye. This question plagued my existence for years. …