Here I go again … loving me some what ifs! What if there’s nothing wrong? What if you’ve never made a mistake? What if everything is as it is and couldn’t be any other way … or it would be? Can you relax into that? Can you let the hard times be hard, let the …
Category Archives: judgment
As Long as There’s An Other …
… the rattlesnake must strike I may not agree with you. Regardless of the width of the chasm separating us, why would I try to make you feel bad about your version of life? Wouldn’t that widen the gap, making it even more uncrossable? The only reason I would try to overpower your idea is …
Home Sick
I’ve been home sick since Friday, filling the hours with writing, reading and watching the tv. Not a lot of energy – not covid – some other unnamed virus. Today I celebrate the 5 acres Sophia and I live on, without which my 19-month-old girl would be going stir crazy. It’s so out of the …
A Bug in Amber
It’s such a paradox. We are caught in the middle, trapped like a bug in amber, capable of feeling joy in the midst of sweet sorrow, sorrow in the midst of joyful acceptance. Here, living a human life, we are not only capable, but it seems fated, destined to experience the pull of two. The …
Begging Your Forgiveness
Dear Sweet Little Body, I am so sorry. I haven’t been a good friend. In fact, I’ve been a stubborn bitch who wants you to be something you aren’t, who ignored you when you didn’t comply, and unfriended you along the way. If I had a friend like me, well, it wouldn’t be pretty when …
They Lied. You Don’t Need to Be So Hard on Yourself
It’s a hard-earned, well-researched belief. There’s a mountain of support for it, an overwhelming consensus that says it’s true. It seems to pop up whenever you lose it and get angry or hide under the covers, unable to face the moment. It hangs around at the edges, waiting to claim a chunk of your heart …
Friendlies
Friendlies Watching Sophia today on our walk I wondered about inhibition and what stops humans from joining the fun like my little dog. She sees other dogs, other humans for that matter, and runs right up to them, wags her tail — hey, I’m friendly, are you? And the games begin. She is particularly fond …
Out of the Cracks of a Broken Heart
What if I was real, if I had always been real, if I knew nothing other than being real? What if I was always able to be just as I am without question? Can you imagine what such a life would be like? I grew up in self-protective mode, not from the beginning but by …
Mirror Mirror on the Wall
I don’t think I will be successful relaying my thoughts this time. I barely can see them myself … and I need to write them down for me, not for anyone else. It’s one of the ways this I am makes sense of insights, one of the ways they are integrated within. Where to start? …
The Burning Bush
Is it enough to simply love, to love simply? Can we stop right here and let love work its magic without our interference … and what is interference but opinion preference judgment — the right-eousness of separation, the shaping of reality into a form other than love. That’s life as most know it — layers …
The Becoming Plan
It’s not about becoming … anything. It’s not even about freedom, truth or peace. For me, anyway, it was always about giving up the fight, letting go of the need to be anything but what I am, even though I didn’t know it at the time. That’s the only thing that is ever wanted in …
Sacred. Authentic. Enlightened.
Sacred. Authentic. Enlightened. It doesn’t matter what you call it, it doesn’t mean always being happy. It doesn’t even mean being nice or positive, having the answers or being unfailingly at peace. We humans, and not just mystical metaphysical folk, strive towards the Holy Grail, the pinnacle of spirituality, the great awakening, not realizing we …
Living It
“The mystery of life isn’t a problem to solve, but a reality to experience, a process that cannot be understood by stopping it. We must move with the flow of the process. We must join it. We must float with it.” Dune 2021 Do you feel the need to understand the Universe and your part …
I’m Sorry
Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” Do you remember that quote? Does understanding the perfection of our experiences, that everything happens as it does and that we learn and grow from it as we can in the moment, mean that we forgo the shared connection, that we overlook the cry of pain? Even …
Do you mind what happens?
It is such a paradox, a bloomin’ conundrum, a question for the ages: If I don’t actually exist, why does it feel like I have choice, like I make decisions? Either the mystics are wrong and you do exist, or there’s more to this than meets the eye. This question plagued my existence for years. …
Amaya Gayle 