Center Stage

The idea that I am not, God Alone Is, used to leave me both free and a bit depressed. The depressed mind, that snippet of mind that still clung to individuality, realized that while it was good news and let me off the hook entirely, also interpreted that to mean I would dissolve into the …

WHO ARE YOU? Who cares? Who are you anyway? Thoughts don’t think. Emotions don’t feel. Sensations don’t hurt, don’t heal. Who hurts?Who suffers?Who believes anything? Isn’t it simply another thought that says, I thought that? Isn’t it just one more thought that takes an emotion and makes it into something other than a passing fancy …

God and the Dark One

Rand: I’m going to kill the Dark One. I’m not just going to seal up the Dark One, I’m going to end him. Moiraine: The dark one is beyond killing.Rand: I think I can do it …Moiraine: The Dark One is part of the Wheel.Rand: No. The Dark One is outside the Pattern, not part of …

The Meaning of Life

What are we here to learn? Or, are we here to learn anything? There seem to be as many different versions as there are people. Another way to word this is, “What is the meaning of life?” I’ve always gravitated towards to the big mysteries of life locked away just out of sight: free will …

Powerful or Powerless?

We don’t easily accept the reality of no free will. I’ve always known it was true although I didn’t quite understand how it could be. Observing my life, it sure looked like I had it, at the very least on occasion, but something within kept saying no even to that compromise. The idea of no …

Expectation

Expectation is powerful. It is beyond anything I had realized and I had discovered most of its secrets. From this locus of experiencing, it is awe-fully awful-ly important, one of the deeply misunderstood enigmas of Life. Expectation is sneaky. Even when I get that the separate self is a lie, that it has never truly …

The Bodhi Tree

Last night I was graced with crystal clear seeing of the twisted lie that is the separate self. It, as usual, came on the heels of hell night.   Yesterday started with a big bang – a body shock that set my world reeling. It was not the device implanted in my chest. It was …

The Uncertainty Factor

The uncertainty factor explains so much about these times we are living through. Those of us who have made our lives into a quest for freedom realized long ago that relocating our lives in uncertainty was a requirement. Any time we slipped back into knowing we felt a swift kick in the ass saying, “Hey, …

Free Will

It’s been a fascinating last 16 months. Each health set back has taken me deeper and deeper into surrender. The last three months have been amazingly intense and nearly beyond words, but you know me, I’ll still make a valiant attempt What have I learned? Surrender is nothing I do; an ‘I’ can’t do it. …

No Escaping This!

Years ago a teacher said that many would not make the shift. That sounded too much like Christian rapture theology to me so I closed my ears. Surely no one would be left behind. How could a loving God leave any of Itself behind? Wouldn’t that be impossible? Years later I was given the vision …

YES

“I did not come to teach you. I came to love you.” I saw this on a meme today and it stopped me in my tracks. What if instead of lesson after lesson, so many hard earned and painful, This That Is is simply loving us and it is only our resistance to love that …

A Vision of Possibility

Years back I was given a vision. I saw a bridge stretching, like a piece of taffy being pulled apart. The center of the bridge stretched until it became very thin and eventually snapped. Two worlds were created from the schism, not unlike the world we inhabit now with its political polarities. The vision foretold …

Silent Stillness

I’ve been experiencing my last breath for the past 15 months — a physical actuality because of an apparent heart issue that has the immediate potential of ending my life. Each month has brought a deeper experience as less and less control over my health arose. It was only last night as I was experiencing …

The Lie

The cosmic video game, the one that holds my life and my impressions of this world, including all the others I am aware of, is glitching. These days I often notice its unreality. It blinks in and out, feels like it is falling into a gazillion pieces, like the dome in the Jim Carrey movie, …

Love’s Legacy

I found myself in resistance. Occasionally I still reside there for a moment or two, an hour or more … or longer? I’m not really sure anymore. Funny. It doesn’t appear to be mental, simply a perfect storm of life coalescing into an out of control physical experience. Shocks pepper my body — hand, head, …