Boy, if that happened to me, I’d … I remember saying that. If I was diagnosed with cancer, I wouldn’t go through all that. I’d rather die. I said that after my husband died, after watching him fight the good fight for five years. According to medical science he was a survivor. He’d made it …
Category Archives: Death
The Promise
When Kenny was ill, we had a joke. He used to say, “Where would I go? There’s only here. There’s only now.” I’d look at him, and his precocious grin, and smile back.
Stay and Play, or Run
“Why are you unhappy? Because 99.9 percent of everything you think, and of everything you do, is for yourself—and there isn’t one.” ― Wei Wu Wei You want to be happy, to not feel foolish, to feel included and loved. It is only natural to feel that way. What isn’t organic is not feeling what …
Death Throes
Death is the material world’s boogey man and aging signals its approach. It’s not taken too seriously when you are your twenties unless you have illness struggles, but once you cross the threshold of the thirties the fear begins amping up. This is the sales pitch of cosmetics, plastic surgery, and most everything on the …
You Already Know
I’m going to tell you something you don’t want to hear. You already know it, but many of you have yet to fully accept it. Life isn’t fair. It will never be all roses and no thorns. Some people will appear to win in spite of seeming unworthy of any good fortune. Others will appear …
Authority Figures
What do you suppose lies within us that grants authority to an other and consciously or not, bestows power, often power over us, someone whose words make us suspect trust fear they can see our future, someone who says something, perhaps innocently, and our mind is off to the races, but not before installing them …
Heart Portal
It’s confusing for the seeker. There is only absolute awareness. All the great gurus point to that truth, therefore it must be so. As awareness there is no goal, but in this goallessness of the spiritual world, awareness itself unwittingly becomes the goal, the certainty within uncertainty, the known at the heart of unknowing and …
Fully Human
Being fully human is a lot trickier than riding the awakening train. Awakening, ascending as some call it, is the ticket out, the great escape, the demise of attachment and aversion, of judgment and craving. It’s the end of life as we know it, and in that way, when you are in pain, when your …
Zig Zag Path
We each have our own thing. It’s where our paths have taken us and it is precious and valuable, not to mention it feels right to us. Some of us catch fire with our things, so much so that we teach our path to others, endorsing it as the way to go. Of course, we …
… Killed the Cat
I thought I was free — so many times. Freedom sang louder with each shift in my ability to be with life as it is. I can’t remember how many times I said, “Wow! So, this is IT!!? How hilarious that seems now. There is no end to the loudness, no decibel level that says, …
Voldemort or Harry?
It seems like a no-brainer question. Voldemort or Harry? Katniss or Snow? Luke or Palpatine? Robin or the sheriff? Who roots for the bad guy? I used to think choosing the good guy was obvious. I’m not sure anymore. A lot of Americans are choosing, to my understanding at least, the villain in the piece. …
Rome is Burning
I’ve been feeling into this for a few days now. Well, actually this one’s been around a long time in different forms. I quit asking for answers to it in meditation because I heard the same answer time and time again. Can’t say I liked it. Many of you know I have written about this …
And a New Religion is Born …
It’s innocent in the moment it happens but after that all bets are off. I was sitting on my black leather couch. It’s Sophie’s now. She’s claimed it. It has a hole or two, a weathered seat from all the dogs that came before. That afternoon I was meditating, listening to Rupert Spira. I liked …
Right Back Here Again
We pack up their lunch, make sure they have their gym clothes and books, and bundle them into the car or out to the bus stop, take a deep breath and begin our day. School’s kind of a free period for parenting, or at least for a lot of parents. Do kids think about yesterday’s …
Only So Much Sand
I am going to die. If not today, next week, next month, in a few years. Time speeds by and I have no time to give to things that do not bring me joy anymore, nor time to give to things that don’t magnetically pull me into them. Life’s flow is good enough. I don’t …
Amaya Gayle 