I Exist

I am. That is undeniable and yet it felt in the beginning like I am not. The I that is not, that seemed to have disappeared, is what many call an ego. It is not gone, non-existent, rather is it filling its intended role instead of wreaking havoc, creating veils, pushing itself to fix, change …

God and the Dark One

Rand: I’m going to kill the Dark One. I’m not just going to seal up the Dark One, I’m going to end him. Moiraine: The dark one is beyond killing.Rand: I think I can do it …Moiraine: The Dark One is part of the Wheel.Rand: No. The Dark One is outside the Pattern, not part of …

Magical Thinking (revisited)

… so many edits I rewrote the darn thing. Magical thinking is often based in truth so it feels right, seems real. Something within us just knows it is true. And yet, living the reality it points to requires radical embodiment that nearly always lags behind the initial awakening. Magical thinking is fun. It often …

Source Code Genesis II

In October of 2013 I wrote a post called Source Code Genesis. (linked below) It represented a considerable breakthrough in my thinking at the time, helping me see how physical injuries are prolonged, solidified in the 3D. I discovered a process whereby I stepped back and back and back — one step at a time …

Remembrance

It does seem like humanity is waking up from the trance. At least, at times it does. 2020 has been a painful timeout for our world. Sometimes it feels like the trance is deeper, thicker, stickier. These are rugged times, not for wimps for sure. They are without doubt honing us in ways unimaginable, taking …

The Bodhi Tree

Last night I was graced with crystal clear seeing of the twisted lie that is the separate self. It, as usual, came on the heels of hell night.   Yesterday started with a big bang – a body shock that set my world reeling. It was not the device implanted in my chest. It was …

The Holy Grail

I love that point when amblings and ramblings are seen through, are seen as the penultimate in futility. It hails the crescendo of life’s symphony, the orgasm of orgasms that rebirths and reseats us as what we were before the first ‘me’ thought, our authentic Self. Life is so difficult. It offers joy and happiness …

The Uncertainty Factor

The uncertainty factor explains so much about these times we are living through. Those of us who have made our lives into a quest for freedom realized long ago that relocating our lives in uncertainty was a requirement. Any time we slipped back into knowing we felt a swift kick in the ass saying, “Hey, …

Free Will

It’s been a fascinating last 16 months. Each health set back has taken me deeper and deeper into surrender. The last three months have been amazingly intense and nearly beyond words, but you know me, I’ll still make a valiant attempt What have I learned? Surrender is nothing I do; an ‘I’ can’t do it. …

No Escaping This!

Years ago a teacher said that many would not make the shift. That sounded too much like Christian rapture theology to me so I closed my ears. Surely no one would be left behind. How could a loving God leave any of Itself behind? Wouldn’t that be impossible? Years later I was given the vision …

YES

“I did not come to teach you. I came to love you.” I saw this on a meme today and it stopped me in my tracks. What if instead of lesson after lesson, so many hard earned and painful, This That Is is simply loving us and it is only our resistance to love that …

Life Lessons

Over the past months I have learned these lessons the hard way, or what I’d term hard if I didn’t know there is no hard or easy, rather just the way life is expressing itself now. Life has a way of fine-tuning us, of not allowing old patterns any space to thrive. Eventually all that …

A Vision of Possibility

Years back I was given a vision. I saw a bridge stretching, like a piece of taffy being pulled apart. The center of the bridge stretched until it became very thin and eventually snapped. Two worlds were created from the schism, not unlike the world we inhabit now with its political polarities. The vision foretold …

Silent Stillness

I’ve been experiencing my last breath for the past 15 months — a physical actuality because of an apparent heart issue that has the immediate potential of ending my life. Each month has brought a deeper experience as less and less control over my health arose. It was only last night as I was experiencing …

Love’s Legacy

I found myself in resistance. Occasionally I still reside there for a moment or two, an hour or more … or longer? I’m not really sure anymore. Funny. It doesn’t appear to be mental, simply a perfect storm of life coalescing into an out of control physical experience. Shocks pepper my body — hand, head, …