I’m being schooled on healing … on what it is and what it is not. It’s been an eye-popping ride. So much that we do — the intent for a result — the idea of a healer and healed — the belief in disease and health — the need for improvement in that which is illusion — is inescapable on the path of ultimate healing.

I remember clearly, night after night, chasing after beings of light, trying to catch up, reaching out to tap them on the shoulder, to find someone, anyone, who could teach me how to heal my Beloved. It seems comical now, comical in a preciously sacred, oh my darling sweetheart sort of way.

Seeing this opens my heart even further … look how I loved, how I tried. It doesn’t matter that I never could catch up to the robed figures in dreamland’s mystical school corridor. It doesn’t matter that I never figured it out. It doesn’t even matter that I was attempting the impossible – to change the illusion within the illusion, or that I misunderstood the underlying meaning of ‘love is the only answer to every perceived problem’. I loved the best I knew how. That’s all any of us can do. That we love is all that matters.

Love is the answer to every perceived problem. Reading that, the mind takes over and tries to figure out how to USE love. Hint: it won’t work. Love cannot be used. Love simply is, and is always doing the work, even when we are interfering, and that’s a good thing because what we call life seems to be the static of interference. What a fabulous puzzle.

Life cannot help but mirror back to us where we reside. It truly cannot help itself. Life is a divinely ordinary, ordinarily divine, feedback loop. Experiences add to what has come before, feeding into the living blueprint which is eternally creating new experiences. Everything is experience, or said a bit differently, everything is experiencing. Each breath, every tiny thought, moments of awe and disgust, the sweet scent of a rose and odiferous tang of the skunk … all of it adds to the energy field, the feedback loop of life.

My struggle to find a way to heal Kenny resides in the pool of energy, along with the love and the loss. Everything that has happened to me, my reactions to what happened, and the evolving understanding all plump up the blueprint and intermingle with each new happening in real now-here time.

The blueprint lives, is Infinite Aliveness at play. The blueprint could be called God were you so inclined. I tend to use words with a little less baggage, although sometimes God slips out.

God — in the form of man — is literally resurrected with each breath I take, with each new experience I am blessed to encounter, be it what the mind sees as good or bad. The blueprint is altering itself perpetually and it seems to me that it leans towards love. When I leave life alone, when I notice that it’s got me, and let my stray thoughts simply be, life is its own remedy.

Love doesn’t need me to direct it’s already perfect will. Swimming against its tide says, ‘I don’t trust; I can’t wait; this needs fixed now; I need to take over control.’ We don’t see the beauty of that until we’ve noticed, perhaps a thousand times, that interfering isn’t wise or necessary.

Love heals all by itself. Life bends towards harmony, peace, and happiness. It bends towards what it is at the core, the crux of its all-encompassing heart — Love. To truly love is to love life and its expressions, to let it be as it is, to recognize life’s innate beauty and the human’s strong desire to interfere.

We will try to direct the flow until we see the absurdity. We cannot not.

Our participation in the game is life, is love at play, so it’s not as if we can will ourselves to sit on the couch and wait. We can’t wait. Life is not unmoving. The blueprint moves us into our next unavoidable expression, always, all ways. We are not separate from the flow of life. We are life flowing, evolving, loving.

All great healers have recognized this. They have noticed that love heals, that love is all that’s here, regardless of the forms it takes. It is impervious to the fear that veils its actuality. As we are being stripped of our need to control, our desire for something else, (that’s what life is — the stripping) we see more and more clearly that every time we resist, we add to the field telling it that life is something to be resisted … so of course, life responds in kind.

Seen enough times, and who knows when enough is enough, the movement of interference mellows and the mirror that life is, begins to reflect your trust in love.