Dear Sweet Little Body, I am so sorry. I haven’t been a good friend. In fact, I’ve been a stubborn bitch who wants you to be something you aren’t, who ignored you when you didn’t comply, and unfriended you along the way. If I had a friend like me, well, it wouldn’t be pretty when …
Category Archives: Honesty
Right Back Here Again
We pack up their lunch, make sure they have their gym clothes and books, and bundle them into the car or out to the bus stop, take a deep breath and begin our day. School’s kind of a free period for parenting, or at least for a lot of parents. Do kids think about yesterday’s …
Out of the Cracks of a Broken Heart
What if I was real, if I had always been real, if I knew nothing other than being real? What if I was always able to be just as I am without question? Can you imagine what such a life would be like? I grew up in self-protective mode, not from the beginning but by …
Stuffed Inside
How much anger is stuffed inside? Every time someone hurt me and I didn’t know how to respond … when I didn’t say something and held my tongue while my insides were slashed open … when I let the hurt pass, forcing a laugh at a friend’s joke — a friend’s not a stranger’s or …
As You Are
To be fully you, do you need self-acceptance? Seems logical, doesn’t it? After all, how could you be fully you while wanting to be someone or something else: taller, shorter, thinner, more muscular or richer, smarter, loved by the right one or any of the other things we humans want? That’s how the story goes …
Let’s Talk About Love
Let’s talk about love. Love may just be one of the most misunderstood words ever. What passes for love, is misunderstood, underestimated, personalized, reified, compartmentalized and often exploited. Love for most, is transactional. If you give me what I want and need, I will love you. If you don’t, I won’t. It’s a love that …
Bursting Bubbles
How would I know I am fully anything? Fully is a fooly word. It assumes done, complete, an absolute that does not exist in the material world, and I am still alive in the material world regardless of how much wisdom I have accrued. It is through the material that words takes form, that actions …
I’m Sorry
Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” Do you remember that quote? Does understanding the perfection of our experiences, that everything happens as it does and that we learn and grow from it as we can in the moment, mean that we forgo the shared connection, that we overlook the cry of pain? Even …
Control
Every time I write about our lack of control I can count on people reacting, and not favorably. I wouldn’t be surprised but many are friends whose posts I enjoy and with whom my experience of life feels in sync. I find it fascinating that the idea of control is a holy cow sort of …
Sleepy Time
How’s your sleep? Do you fall easily into the void at bedtime? Do you lay your head on the pillow and go out like a light? Can you enter into the Now so completely that nothing of this world remains? Or is it a little bit tougher for you? My body hasn’t quite caught up …
The Holy Grail
I love that point when amblings and ramblings are seen through, are seen as the penultimate in futility. It hails the crescendo of life’s symphony, the orgasm of orgasms that rebirths and reseats us as what we were before the first ‘me’ thought, our authentic Self. Life is so difficult. It offers joy and happiness …
The Uncertainty Factor
The uncertainty factor explains so much about these times we are living through. Those of us who have made our lives into a quest for freedom realized long ago that relocating our lives in uncertainty was a requirement. Any time we slipped back into knowing we felt a swift kick in the ass saying, “Hey, …
Life Lessons
Over the past months I have learned these lessons the hard way, or what I’d term hard if I didn’t know there is no hard or easy, rather just the way life is expressing itself now. Life has a way of fine-tuning us, of not allowing old patterns any space to thrive. Eventually all that …
A Vision of Possibility
Years back I was given a vision. I saw a bridge stretching, like a piece of taffy being pulled apart. The center of the bridge stretched until it became very thin and eventually snapped. Two worlds were created from the schism, not unlike the world we inhabit now with its political polarities. The vision foretold …
Love’s Legacy
I found myself in resistance. Occasionally I still reside there for a moment or two, an hour or more … or longer? I’m not really sure anymore. Funny. It doesn’t appear to be mental, simply a perfect storm of life coalescing into an out of control physical experience. Shocks pepper my body — hand, head, …
Amaya Gayle 