Every time I write about our lack of control I can count on people reacting, and not favorably. I wouldn’t be surprised but many are friends whose posts I enjoy and with whom my experience of life feels in sync. I find it fascinating that the idea of control is a holy cow sort of hot button.
Let’s talk about the elusive doer, the one with control, the one who has the ability to make decisions and impact life for good or bad. Nearly everyone says there is control, at least in how we react and respond. Let’s see if that is true.
Here’s how it works for me. Check your experience and see if it’s true for you too.
A thought arises. I didn’t call that particular thought up but all of a sudden there it is floating in awareness. It comes without being called, spends a moment or two and then disappears back into consciousness. I don’t see it enter stage left and exit stage right, it simply appears and disappears out of awareness.
The thought may be as simple as, “It’s going to rain later.” After a moment’s pause another thought appears. “Perhaps I should get a walk in before it starts.” Before I know it I lean forward. My legs stiffen a bit. I stand and walk across the room to get my coat.
Looks like a decision doesn’t it? Or does it? Look closely.
Before the thought appeared I was reading a book. I could have continued reading for a couple more hours but that thought appeared. The action that followed occurred without a seemingly conscious decision. Movement simply took place.
If I don’t control thoughts – from what I’ve observed thoughts aren’t even MINE to control – how can I be in control of decision making? They simply arise and fall, offering up ongoing possibilities that take shape and form, morph throughout the day and into the dreamstate and start up again in the morning.
I used to agonize over my next step, how to make the right decision, but did that actually change which actions took place? I tend to think not. It just made getting there a pain in the ass. Now I become aware of the thought and action follows organically. Some look effortless. Some look like struggle. Together they offer up the totality of experiencing. Can’t have one without the other! Impossible. Besides, what fun would that be? Contrast is important. Without it nothing could be experienced. It is a bonus however to not overthink the variety that looks like struggle. It comes, it goes, offering up its lesson as it passes through without the added expense of suffering.
Without the benefit of exacting inquiry it appears that a thought arises which is then followed by another and another. When seen as a continuous flow it appears that a decision has been made by a decider who is choosing. What isn’t seen is that the first thought is long gone before the second appears and before the third is yet born. There is no continuity between thoughts and thought or thoughts and action. Thoughts are simply thoughts. Action is action. When action is closely observed one sees that it is organic as well, not the result of decision at all.
Consciousness gives the thoughts and actions their sense of continuity, which in actuality doesn’t exist. The thinker, the owner of thoughts is an imaginary being based upon those same actions. As consciousness expands itself, more possibilities for experiencing present themselves.
It is all experiencing, ordinary divinity. The game was made up before we incarnated, a game of chutes and ladders with many possible forks in the road, exit strategies and dead ends. Not pre-determined exactly, but close enough. It’s sort of like multiple choice with no bad answers. No experience is bad once you realize the game is a game and it’s always win-win. There are no losers, no eternal harm, just more and less comfortable experiences all of which present opportunities for shifts in consciousness.
Call me crazy if you will, but there’s only one way to know if I am crazy like a loon or if this is crazy wise and that’s to go look for yourself.
Are you ready to let your closely held beliefs about control drop? Can you let them go long enough to inquire into the truth? All beliefs, including this one, are ways you remain in charge. While you’ve got your hands on the wheel, Source sits in the backseat and waits, lovingly albeit, but the result is the same. You’re still on your own in a very challenging, if not impossible game.
“Conditions change every single day and yet, as here-now, the realm of the wild child, you are precisely honed to react in alignment with pure love.” Card #26 Improvisation – The Wild Child