Category Archives: fear

Overcoming Self-Doubt: A Journey to Enoughness

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I thought it was me. All those years I thought it was me, that I wasn’t—smart enough, pretty enough, clever enough, good enough—you know, loveable. Something didn’t add up, but I didn’t know what it was, so the only answer left to me was to try harder. I carefully picked out clothes and counted every …

An Ode to Hopelessness

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If I was focused on the insanity around me, I would be sleepless, anxious, and quite rightly, unhinged. Some say I’m already that last one so I’m guessing I haven’t far to go to get there, wherever there is. Good thing there is no there, only here and the idea, the thought, the belief in …

Demolishing the Illusion of Safety

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The greatest gift these times are giving us is the demolition of the illusion of safety. On the surface it sounds like a good idea, to feel safe. Everyone says safety is critical to our ability to be honest with ourselves and others, but when we are cushioned within the illusion of safety, what are …

Owning My Experience

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… EVEN WHEN IT CONFLICTS WITH MY PREFERRED SELF-IMAGE OF A LOVING HUMAN Life constantly reminds me to be observant of what’s happening within, and honest, absolutely real about owning my experience. Whenever I get pulled into the right-wrong game, it is sufficiently painful to slow me down, like life saying, take it down a …

Trying to Make Life Sit and Stay

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7 lessons learned the hard way    Whatever practice resonates with you, do that. It’s not as if you could choose not to. Just don’t expect it to end suffering, not the worlds, nor yours. Damn those expectations. 😉 Practices are everywhere. They come in all shapes and forms, some you’d call a practice and …

Life Lessons from Sophia

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I am blessed to enjoy seven trails and walking paths relatively close to where I live. Today I walked the west end of Burnt Bridge Creek. The tall trees spread their limbs, covering the trail. It was beautiful with the light shining through the green leaves. It was simply magical. Sophia loves her morning walks, …

An Invitation to Sheer Anarchy

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I’ve been called a revolutionary, radical to the core. My son used to cringe and say I was an old hippie and coming from him, it wasn’t meant as a compliment. I just smiled and said an inward ‘thank you’ and went about whatever it was I was doing that elicited such praise. The cringe …

The Collapse of Soul-deep Resistance

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There has been resistance deep in my soul. I, like so many, have always found it agonizing when people are hateful to one another, when we act in ways that are beyond this sensitive’s ability to comprehend. It wounds me in ways no words could ever truly express when humans act like monsters, when my …

What Does it Mean to be Fully Human?

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At times I am certain that many today are not human, not just in the figurative sense, but literally. No, I’m not playing around the edges of alien theories. I am simply stating that that which makes us human seems to be missing in so many these days. Are we human if we cannot feel? …

The Enchanting Alternative World

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What a wonder each day is! Today turned the key of pure delight. It started with a walk in the woods, a visit to the gnome trail, and Sophia joyfully splashing in the little creek both coming and going and segued into planting a field of flowers where lawn once grew. The gnome trail is …

Dread: Meeting the failure of compassion

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What’s going to happen is going to happen, including all the actions I am going to take or not take. Perhaps more importantly, what’s happening is what’s happening and there is nothing I can do about what’s here right now. Despite these material realities, or at least my realities, I occasionally find myself a bit …

Oh God! What a Zoo!!

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Fearing life, not wanting to feel it twist the body, trying not to experience life’s myriad bouts of suffering as they come – the aching sense of lack, the surety of loss, the dread of betrayal and being deemed unworthy, the roiling belly, your shoulders up around your ears like skin and bone earrings, some …

Surrounded

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Algorithms are interesting. They will take you wherever you put your attention. Guaranteed. They are a just like life, a take-no-prisoners self-fulfilling prophecy. Whatever you believe you see more of. Whatever you give importance to rises to the top like cream ready to be scooped up. We honestly can’t know the truth. We can only …