I am blessed to enjoy seven trails and walking paths relatively close to where I live. Today I walked the west end of Burnt Bridge Creek. The tall trees spread their limbs, covering the trail. It was beautiful with the light shining through the green leaves. It was simply magical. Sophia loves her morning walks, …
Category Archives: pain
We Aren’t Fighting a Political Battle
Life is fascinating when you can see through the horrors, when you are willing to stand without running, and let it rip your heart out. It will. It will take every single person you love, everything you thought important, the innocents: the children, the soft and cuddly 4-leggeds, the mothers and fathers, sons and daughters, …
Death Doulas for a Country
I’m puzzled. Why are people surprised by the insane inane things the utterly dysfunctional administration is doing? We seem to be caught in a spiral of disbelief and unable to fight our way out of it without being pulled back in by the next bit of insanity. Maybe that is the reason: we are attempting …
The Collapse of Soul-deep Resistance
There has been resistance deep in my soul. I, like so many, have always found it agonizing when people are hateful to one another, when we act in ways that are beyond this sensitive’s ability to comprehend. It wounds me in ways no words could ever truly express when humans act like monsters, when my …
Mankind was not Designed as a Killing Machine
When I was a little girl growing up in small town USA, we had 4th of July parades and proudly waved the American flag. Fireworks followed a sweaty day of three-leg races and hot dogs, carnival games and lemonade. Laying on blankets looking up at the sky the idea that in a few short years …
The Enchanting Alternative World
What a wonder each day is! Today turned the key of pure delight. It started with a walk in the woods, a visit to the gnome trail, and Sophia joyfully splashing in the little creek both coming and going and segued into planting a field of flowers where lawn once grew. The gnome trail is …
Oh God! What a Zoo!!
Fearing life, not wanting to feel it twist the body, trying not to experience life’s myriad bouts of suffering as they come – the aching sense of lack, the surety of loss, the dread of betrayal and being deemed unworthy, the roiling belly, your shoulders up around your ears like skin and bone earrings, some …
Today I Grieve
Today I am grieving. Deeply. Painfully. Messily. Preciously. Not for the beloveds I’ve lost but for this world imploding about me. Maybe it’s nothing to grieve. Perhaps it was never worth the love I gave it. Maybe this country has always been the monster in the closet that everyone cowered from while smiling and pretending …
I don’t have a lot of interest in improving the world …
I don’t have a lot of interest in improving the world anymore or any capacity to see it as needing improvement. Life as it is, is what’s here and playing make believe or pretend no longer grabs my attention in any way, so call me whatever you like. I was never much of an activist, …
Dylan, You Had it Wrong
“Rage, rage, rage against the dying of the light.” Beautiful words, which once understood are pure bunk. Resist death. Honor life with your resistance. In your resistance you can find meaning in life. Dylan, you are so very wrong. From this premise flows all that is sad and lonely, painful and struggle-filled in life. Rage …
Why Would Anyone Want to Wake Up?
Arguing with life, stressing out over what’s here and what’s not, makes you and everyone around you miserable. Most of us look for ways to make life better, but what if there is no way? How many years have you been at it, trying to win the unwinnable game? You win one and lose two. …
Walking Away: Leaving the Guru Behind
Many years ago, when I knew I needed to walk away from a teacher, I struggled. To leave would mean leaving my community behind and that broke my heart. My inner knowing was strong and persistent as hell, so I knew I couldn’t stay. I didn’t truly know why I had to leave; I just …
Does It Really Matter?
Does it matter if life is illusory or real, if this a material world like most everyone thinks or a dream? It looks and feels real, it offers sensations and feelings that attest to its realness. Discovering what this is only matters to the ones attempting to escape their reality, and even that is not …
Amaya Gayle 