… EVEN WHEN IT CONFLICTS WITH MY PREFERRED SELF-IMAGE OF A LOVING HUMAN Life constantly reminds me to be observant of what’s happening within, and honest, absolutely real about owning my experience. Whenever I get pulled into the right-wrong game, it is sufficiently painful to slow me down, like life saying, take it down a …
Category Archives: reality
Estrangement:, the ultimate appearance of separation
For most of us, programming determines every step we take. It tells us who we are supposed to be, what we should do and not do, who we must love and who should love us regardless of what we do and how we behave. It also stealthily flips our inner switch to guilt when we …
Stepping Forward into the Despair
I’m not sure I can even write about this or if there is any point to writing anything at all, but alas, it seems I cannot not. Writing is what flows through me, an avatar, a seemingly personalized window into the here-now. This one is no more important than yours. It is simply my unique …
Wonderful Ugly Habitual Creative Blame
Blame. Seems it’s a human trait. Habitual, for sure. Perhaps to be human is to blame, or at least to be caught up in separation, is to blame. I’ve been blamed and I’ve blamed. It’s like a hot potato we throw around, never truly catching it, mostly tossing it right back as soon as the …
We Aren’t Fighting a Political Battle
Life is fascinating when you can see through the horrors, when you are willing to stand without running, and let it rip your heart out. It will. It will take every single person you love, everything you thought important, the innocents: the children, the soft and cuddly 4-leggeds, the mothers and fathers, sons and daughters, …
The Collapse of Soul-deep Resistance
There has been resistance deep in my soul. I, like so many, have always found it agonizing when people are hateful to one another, when we act in ways that are beyond this sensitive’s ability to comprehend. It wounds me in ways no words could ever truly express when humans act like monsters, when my …
The Enchanting Alternative World
What a wonder each day is! Today turned the key of pure delight. It started with a walk in the woods, a visit to the gnome trail, and Sophia joyfully splashing in the little creek both coming and going and segued into planting a field of flowers where lawn once grew. The gnome trail is …
Oh God! What a Zoo!!
Fearing life, not wanting to feel it twist the body, trying not to experience life’s myriad bouts of suffering as they come – the aching sense of lack, the surety of loss, the dread of betrayal and being deemed unworthy, the roiling belly, your shoulders up around your ears like skin and bone earrings, some …
This Sucks
It’s so easy to get sucked into the insanity, but ask yourself, who or what gets sucked? That part of you who believes you’re right and that what’s happening is wrong gets sucked into the void of crazy town, not the present moment awareness in which that sucking sound appears, but the idea, the concept, …
Bridging the Ever-Widening Gap
There are infinite responses available to us as we approach possibly the last (anything’s possible) peaceful handover of power on January 20th. Several come to mind: unbridled anger, deep and clawing angst, suffocating depression, willful ignorance, and feigned neutrality that would put Switzerland on notice. Oh, I forgot myself for the moment. Geez, can’t forget …
The Self: Mind’s Masterpiece
There’s an infinitesimal tipping point, a razor’s edge of sorts, where the individuated mind assumes control, or seems to, but of course, it doesn’t really. It’s that breath where the pause between thoughts, the spaciousness of beingness, is stealthily overwritten by identity. It’s a spellbinding miracle, that nothing creates something out of nothing, or the …
I don’t have a lot of interest in improving the world …
I don’t have a lot of interest in improving the world anymore or any capacity to see it as needing improvement. Life as it is, is what’s here and playing make believe or pretend no longer grabs my attention in any way, so call me whatever you like. I was never much of an activist, …
The Story Writes Itself
It’s quite unsettling, and that’s not a bad thing, to recognize that this is all mind and what most call mind actually knows nothing. Another frickin’ paradox. Yup. It’s all paradox. Isn’t that a hoot! What we think of as ourselves is actually living, breathing paradox. Now that statement is bound to piss off a …
Question: Do you think reality is benevolent?
A friend sent me this question: Do you think reality is benevolent? My response may be of interest to many of you. From observation, I tend to experience it as benevolent, that it trends organically towards harmony. When life is left alone, let be as it is, it quite naturally wholes itself. That ‘leave it …
It Doesn’t Bode Well for Love
I’m not sure why sleepless nights are so rich with insights. Regardless of reasons, and mind can come up with a million possibilities, mine are. Maybe the breakthroughs require the freshly broken sense of control. I mean really, if we can’t control whether we fall asleep, what can we control? Last night I couldn’t …
Amaya Gayle 