I thought it was me. All those years I thought it was me, that I wasn’t—smart enough, pretty enough, clever enough, good enough—you know, loveable. Something didn’t add up, but I didn’t know what it was, so the only answer left to me was to try harder. I carefully picked out clothes and counted every …
Tag Archives: life
Disbelieving Appearances: A Path to Aliveness
It’s a conundrum. I have no idea what is of the greatest value. I find it important to share what is happening in our world, and yet I can’t help but think that the sharing is redundant, that you already know about the world’s depravity, its deep dive into cruelty, its lack of a heart-based …
An Ode to Hopelessness
If I was focused on the insanity around me, I would be sleepless, anxious, and quite rightly, unhinged. Some say I’m already that last one so I’m guessing I haven’t far to go to get there, wherever there is. Good thing there is no there, only here and the idea, the thought, the belief in …
Escapism: an endless litany of prayers
Can anyone escape reality? We try, oh how we try. Religion of all sorts is an attempt to escape our current experience, to put aside or behind the very real visceral sensations, emotions, thoughts and feelings about what’s here now. Whether the religion is money, one defined by a divine master, non-duality (there ain’t nothing …
Demolishing the Illusion of Safety
The greatest gift these times are giving us is the demolition of the illusion of safety. On the surface it sounds like a good idea, to feel safe. Everyone says safety is critical to our ability to be honest with ourselves and others, but when we are cushioned within the illusion of safety, what are …
Owning My Experience
… EVEN WHEN IT CONFLICTS WITH MY PREFERRED SELF-IMAGE OF A LOVING HUMAN Life constantly reminds me to be observant of what’s happening within, and honest, absolutely real about owning my experience. Whenever I get pulled into the right-wrong game, it is sufficiently painful to slow me down, like life saying, take it down a …
Estrangement:, the ultimate appearance of separation
For most of us, programming determines every step we take. It tells us who we are supposed to be, what we should do and not do, who we must love and who should love us regardless of what we do and how we behave. It also stealthily flips our inner switch to guilt when we …
If this was my last day on earth
What would I choose to do if this was my last day on earth? It’s a fetching question to play with. It’s been floating around in awareness for a couple of days now. Would I go for a walk in the woods and thrill my senses with nature? Would I take in the scents and …
The Plague of Seriousity that Consumes Most Lives
By many of the comments my posts receive or messages that are sent, it seems that a lot of people see me as a bit of a paradox. The questions that float in the air are understandable. Heck, in fact I’d be surprised if they weren’t. Minds want to understand even though that is impossible, …
Wonderful Ugly Habitual Creative Blame
Blame. Seems it’s a human trait. Habitual, for sure. Perhaps to be human is to blame, or at least to be caught up in separation, is to blame. I’ve been blamed and I’ve blamed. It’s like a hot potato we throw around, never truly catching it, mostly tossing it right back as soon as the …
We Aren’t Fighting a Political Battle
Life is fascinating when you can see through the horrors, when you are willing to stand without running, and let it rip your heart out. It will. It will take every single person you love, everything you thought important, the innocents: the children, the soft and cuddly 4-leggeds, the mothers and fathers, sons and daughters, …
The Last Domino to Fall
Inzicht Magazine, in the Netherlands, recently invited me to write an article for them. The article titled, The Last Domino to Fall, was in the May edition. If you are fluent in Dutch, you can read it there. If not, I am posting the English version. It is a bit longer than my normal pieces, but worth …
Death Doulas for a Country
I’m puzzled. Why are people surprised by the insane inane things the utterly dysfunctional administration is doing? We seem to be caught in a spiral of disbelief and unable to fight our way out of it without being pulled back in by the next bit of insanity. Maybe that is the reason: we are attempting …
An Invitation to Sheer Anarchy
I’ve been called a revolutionary, radical to the core. My son used to cringe and say I was an old hippie and coming from him, it wasn’t meant as a compliment. I just smiled and said an inward ‘thank you’ and went about whatever it was I was doing that elicited such praise. The cringe …
The Enchanting Alternative World
What a wonder each day is! Today turned the key of pure delight. It started with a walk in the woods, a visit to the gnome trail, and Sophia joyfully splashing in the little creek both coming and going and segued into planting a field of flowers where lawn once grew. The gnome trail is …
Amaya Gayle 