Out of Control

When one can see no future, all one can do is the next right thing.
Frozen 2

I find this quote fascinating. On the physical level, when standing in the dark with no path in sight, what is left is to take the step, the leap of faith that feels accurate, either that, or crumple into a ball on the floor and cry, or die, perhaps both.

It is such an interesting analogy for life as I am experiencing it today. My pacemaker-defibrillator went off Wednesday, three times in 5 minutes. As a result, I landed in the hospital for three days. The doctors are trying a new med. We’ll see.

Isn’t that always the answer: wait and see!

We think we know what is happening, what is unfolding, what our next step is but we don’t. We never know. We only think we do. We can’t know our next step for we have yet to take it. We can’t see what we haven’t seen yet, what new experience will inalterably shift the path in front of us and reframe our lives. We cannot be who we will be, who we are becoming, until we are and that is without doubt, a study in motion. We cannot even accurately guess who or what that will be, for our imagination, based in limitation, is not up to the task.

When we are shocked into the realization that we have no control at all over our lives, that we do not know, we drop into the space of no future, no past, and all that is left is what has always been here: just this next step, this next breath.

It is amazing how valiantly we defend our right to preserve the illusion of control, and it is valiant indeed, the hero’s journey. Seems backwards doesn’t it? If we could simply surrender it all, one and done, it would be so simple but that’s not the game here, or at least it hasn’t been for me. Each new shock to the system, whether literal or not, brings a deeper surrender, a lessening of identity, even when the identity as most know it, no longer exists.

There is no end to transformation. I used to say that as long as we are in a body change is a constant. I expand that now, removing the idea of body. Change, expansion, transformation is the constant of the Universe. Run quickly from anyone who says they’ve made it to the Golden Goal. Awakening to the game is merely the beginning of life. It is a first step along an eternal path of awe and surprise, wonder and true aliveness.

To me, at least right now with my current best understanding, it seems that earth is where we awaken out of the nightmare of separation, of unflinching rigidity, what we call individuality. Earth is a kindergarten not a college, a basic learning field, a playground for children opening to the wonders of Life. That is why incarnating here is so darn precious. It opens us, makes of us a pliable and useful tool for Source Love to extend itself into the world inter and intra-dimensionally.

And that’s no small thing!

Let yourself imagine being a Tool for the divine, of and as the divine! That’s our true nature. Recovered from the split, from being split-apart from our nature, we continue to grow and evolve, to be transformed along with all of Life, Of course we do! This That Is and me, and we, are not separate. We are the only game in town.

“Any time you feel out of union, split apart from your wild child nature, remember the brilliant, luminous shine and you become a beam of light for a world craving empyrean presence.” Card #15 Arise and Shine – The Wild Child

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: