I’m not sure why sleepless nights are so rich with insights. Regardless of reasons, and mind can come up with a million possibilities, mine are. Maybe the breakthroughs require the freshly broken sense of control. I mean really, if we can’t control whether we fall asleep, what can we control?   

Last night I couldn’t fall asleep fast enough. Reading in bed, my eyes kept sliding shut like a dyslexic on crack. I had little awareness that I was skipping paragraphs, reading paragraphs twice, three times, so when I finally tuned into it, I turned off the light and went straight out, About four hours later, bingo! Wide awake. It’s natural to try to figure out why, or it is for me at times, and that of course, just prolongs the story.

Usually I just pretend (to myself) to rest. Sometimes I don’t really know if I slept or not. It’s actually pretty funny when the old programming about how we need sleep isn’t activated. When it is, it’s kind of a pain in the ass. For a while it was one of those less fun-ny nights, so I had lots of opportunities to surrender, to do surrendering rather than actually surrendering, to get neatly tenderized by my absolute inadequacy in the sleep department.

I don’t think I’m much different from most of the more liberal people in the US. We’re disturbed, so it’s not surprising that sleep patterns are disturbed too.

I love how insights come out of nowhere, unsought, unexpected. Boom!

I won’t extend the suspense so here it is: I cannot hang onto political or religious rightness, righteousness, not even ideas of better and worse, and be of good use where this world is taking us. It’s not that hate and anger, revenge, and whatever else is coming, are equal to love and compassion. Equal’s a mind game. It’s just that hanging onto that judgement, aye, even discernment, will build a rock wall across the road we are all walking down, want to or not.

This wasn’t an insight I was looking for, but damn, it made sense all the way down to my toes.  

This is an entirely different story that we are entering into. It is mostly accurate to say that these times are the ones we are here for, and make no mistake, we are here now, and that happening is not a mistake. We are here to live into the question: Are we here to watch Rome burn or to be love and model awakening for others?

The two are not mutually exclusive; they are mutually dependent. It all ties together. Without love Rome simply burns, taking all of us with it. Putting our attention on the burn, love is choked out by the thick black smoke until we can’t find it anymore. It’s interesting that the standard solution to fire is cover your mouth, drop to your knees and crawl.

With love, we have no idea what will happen. We leave that up to love. It’s not our job to figure it out.

Anyone who says they know, is mistaken. This is an entirely new ballgame. With love, the foul balls of life are left to take care of themselves in ways we cannot yet fathom. Will it be fun? Likely not. Will we grow and evolve, absolutely.

If there was ever a time for self-awareness, this is it. Well, it’s always been IT, but the stakes are set at the top of the bar now; the ante is up! I am encountering fairly instantaneous repercussions for focusing on the burn — sleeplessness, closed heartedness, righteousness, general discomfort and tensioning in the body and mind — none of which bode well for love.

… but isn’t love grand. It doesn’t sit around and bide its time (poetic license taken).

One of love’s very cool, but not always comfortable, redeeming features is that it shows us what we’re doing, what we are thinking, what we are believing. Through the growing discomfort, it points out our sticking points, the hand grenades we’ve pulled the pins on, not realizing they are primed to explode. Love is a built-in living breathing demonstration of what contracts us into knots, and what expands our hearts, bodies and minds. It’s all love. There is nothing else even though that appears to be a lie.  

Yeah, we’re here. It’s now, and it’s crazy time. It’s always crazy time for someone. No one’s immune. It doesn’t matter how awake we are. This is our moment and like every other moment that will ever come to pass, it asks just one question. What about this moment can’t you love?

Like this and want more? An in-depth deconstruction of all the old stories? Check out my latest book, Actuality: infinity at play https://amzn.to/3Rd4CTY

Image: Free content, Pixabay.com (artist unknown)