Fearing life, not wanting to feel it twist the body, trying not to experience life’s myriad bouts of suffering as they come – the aching sense of lack, the surety of loss, the dread of betrayal and being deemed unworthy, the roiling belly, your shoulders up around your ears like skin and bone earrings, some …
Category Archives: Awakening
Righteous Anger
I do not look away. I feel the suffering. I allow it in without filters. I am present, so I know that what is arising now is not the fallout of not feeling, of denial, of ignorance, willful or otherwise. What is arising now is anger, righteous anger, anger at those who see nothing wrong …
Th e Meaning We Give It
The problem with manifestation gimmicks is sometimes they appear to work. If they never did, you wouldn’t beat yourself mercilessly when your personal ship of state appeared to float or sink. Success now and again, even success a great deal of the time, doesn’t mean you figured it out, that you did it, or that …
The Juice of Transformation
lies in the heart of chaos … Are you wondering whether you should leave your spiritual practices and spend your time resisting the harm being done? Are you trying to decide if you should quit spending so much time on your own baggage and instead, help to allay the suffering of others? Your wondering is …
Ripples of Infinite Aliveness
Years back, my favorite expression was, “What about this can’t you love?” It kind of still is, but I understand it totally differently and probably would use another word besides love, although love when understood for what it actually is, works beautifully. This. Just this. Only this. This alone. This this. Yeah. Life exactly as …
Nothin’ Left to Lose
“Freedom is just another word for nothin’ left to loseNothin’, don’t mean nothin’ hon’ if it ain’t free, no-no”Me and Bobby MCGee, Janis JoplinNothing left to lose is an interesting concept, right there along with freedom. One holds the potential of captivity, while the other dangles the promise of something to hold onto. The actuality …
Today I Grieve
Today I am grieving. Deeply. Painfully. Messily. Preciously. Not for the beloveds I’ve lost but for this world imploding about me. Maybe it’s nothing to grieve. Perhaps it was never worth the love I gave it. Maybe this country has always been the monster in the closet that everyone cowered from while smiling and pretending …
Bridging the Ever-Widening Gap
There are infinite responses available to us as we approach possibly the last (anything’s possible) peaceful handover of power on January 20th. Several come to mind: unbridled anger, deep and clawing angst, suffocating depression, willful ignorance, and feigned neutrality that would put Switzerland on notice. Oh, I forgot myself for the moment. Geez, can’t forget …
The Self: Mind’s Masterpiece
There’s an infinitesimal tipping point, a razor’s edge of sorts, where the individuated mind assumes control, or seems to, but of course, it doesn’t really. It’s that breath where the pause between thoughts, the spaciousness of beingness, is stealthily overwritten by identity. It’s a spellbinding miracle, that nothing creates something out of nothing, or the …
I don’t have a lot of interest in improving the world …
I don’t have a lot of interest in improving the world anymore or any capacity to see it as needing improvement. Life as it is, is what’s here and playing make believe or pretend no longer grabs my attention in any way, so call me whatever you like. I was never much of an activist, …
It Doesn’t Bode Well for Love
I’m not sure why sleepless nights are so rich with insights. Regardless of reasons, and mind can come up with a million possibilities, mine are. Maybe the breakthroughs require the freshly broken sense of control. I mean really, if we can’t control whether we fall asleep, what can we control? Last night I couldn’t …
The Golden Idols of Our Lives
People want to use spirituality just like they want to use God. Fix me. Heal me. Help me. Awaken me. Overcome my enemies. Help my side win. People use money, power, force, and other people, exerting influence to the same end. There’s not a lot of difference between any of them. Some propel the world …
Back Where I Started
Rather than spending time discussing whose version is right and whose is wrong, I think I’ll spend the rest of my life with everyday people, those who are simply living, loving, doing their best with the life they’ve been given, and let them show me their secrets. I’d like to know people better, to see …
All That’s Left is Paradox
It’s easy to get sucked into non-duality, to think it is the answer. It’s true, well as true as anything is true. It’s the closest to describing what this is that I have found. I don’t argue that at all. Do you hear that sucking sound?I get it! That’s right. It makes sense. Hell no! …
Why Would Anyone Want to Wake Up?
Arguing with life, stressing out over what’s here and what’s not, makes you and everyone around you miserable. Most of us look for ways to make life better, but what if there is no way? How many years have you been at it, trying to win the unwinnable game? You win one and lose two. …
Amaya Gayle 