Category Archives: experiencing

The Self: Mind’s Masterpiece

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There’s an infinitesimal tipping point, a razor’s edge of sorts, where the individuated mind assumes control, or seems to, but of course, it doesn’t really. It’s that breath where the pause between thoughts, the spaciousness of beingness, is stealthily overwritten by identity. It’s a spellbinding miracle, that nothing creates something out of nothing, or the …

Question: Do you think reality is benevolent?

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A friend sent me this question: Do you think reality is benevolent? My response may be of interest to many of you. From observation, I tend to experience it as benevolent, that it trends organically towards harmony. When life is left alone, let be as it is, it quite naturally wholes itself. That ‘leave it …

All That’s Left is Paradox

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It’s easy to get sucked into non-duality, to think it is the answer. It’s true, well as true as anything is true. It’s the closest to describing what this is that I have found. I don’t argue that at all. Do you hear that sucking sound?I get it! That’s right. It makes sense. Hell no! …

Why Would Anyone Want to Wake Up?

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Arguing with life, stressing out over what’s here and what’s not, makes you and everyone around you miserable. Most of us look for ways to make life better, but what if there is no way? How many years have you been at it, trying to win the unwinnable game? You win one and lose two. …

Ode to Sleeplessness

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I sleep well most nights. This is something relatively new for me. For many years, I was a raging insomniac. I didn’t sleep well last night and found myself meditating around 4am, not so much to get to sleep but for something to pass the time. Sitting there, my pillow tucked behind my back, and …

Run, Rusty, Run!

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A friend once told me that my practice was a type of self-soothing. It pissed me off. To my mind, the deep shadow work, the search for truth was anything but soothing. I wasn’t trying to feel better, or so I thought, I was after the big prize: Truth with a capital T. I’d sat …

Life Doesn’t Have to Hurt So Bad

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There is only one insight worth the trouble, but that is the one that finds you, not one you can find. Anything short of that realization will ultimately be unsatisfying regardless of how awesome it feels in the moment of recognition. All but one insight dims. Most make room for the next, opening up the …

Door Number One or Door Number Two?

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There are some things we simply know, even though we squirm a bit putting that knowing into words. It feels more accurate to say what it isn’t but even that is filled with potholes … deep potholes, lose your car in them, deep.   It seems to me that reality is so much more than …

You Don’t Want This

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You don’t want this, and when it finds you anyway, you won’t have needed me, or anyone, to show you how to get it. You say you want IT, but you don’t. You want a better life, a sweeter deal, not this. No one in their right mind wants this. It’s beautifully simple, and minds …

Every Moment is the Rabbit Hole

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Most mornings, Sophia and I go down the rabbit hole, no, really. That’s what one of the trails at Whipple Creek is called. Whipple is our favorite of many great walks here in Southern Washington. The great news is that it’s less than two miles from my front door. What a treat!   Every time …

Walking Away: Leaving the Guru Behind

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Many years ago, when I knew I needed to walk away from a teacher, I struggled. To leave would mean leaving my community behind and that broke my heart. My inner knowing was strong and persistent as hell, so I knew I couldn’t stay. I didn’t truly know why I had to leave; I just …

The Mind Trap

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Today has been an interesting day. While mowing an acre of grass, taking a hoe to the vegetable garden, and enjoying a three-mile walk with Sophia, I’ve been pondering life, this appearance of duality that is physically dubious and yet remarkably, manifests shamelessly as the material world. It is the veritable impossible dream. I’ve been …

Life’s Little Secret

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I can pretty much guarantee that few will be interested in this little secret, because it is the rather large lie, the frustrating fallacy, the charlatan concept that is ardently guarded by riveting, nearly unconscious resistance. I used to encounter that same thing when I’d write about death. That little idea doesn’t seem to be …