I thought it was me. All those years I thought it was me, that I wasn’t—smart enough, pretty enough, clever enough, good enough—you know, loveable. Something didn’t add up, but I didn’t know what it was, so the only answer left to me was to try harder. I carefully picked out clothes and counted every …
Category Archives: Healing
An Ode to Hopelessness
If I was focused on the insanity around me, I would be sleepless, anxious, and quite rightly, unhinged. Some say I’m already that last one so I’m guessing I haven’t far to go to get there, wherever there is. Good thing there is no there, only here and the idea, the thought, the belief in …
Stepping Forward into the Despair
I’m not sure I can even write about this or if there is any point to writing anything at all, but alas, it seems I cannot not. Writing is what flows through me, an avatar, a seemingly personalized window into the here-now. This one is no more important than yours. It is simply my unique …
The End Times: not what you think
Last night, after my delightful birthday, I sat in bed meditating and the end times, the ones so many Christians are cheering for, hoping to see in their lifetimes, in the next few years preferably, popped into this awareness. What I heard were the words, ‘What makes you think that we aren’t going through the …
Life Lessons from Sophia
I am blessed to enjoy seven trails and walking paths relatively close to where I live. Today I walked the west end of Burnt Bridge Creek. The tall trees spread their limbs, covering the trail. It was beautiful with the light shining through the green leaves. It was simply magical. Sophia loves her morning walks, …
We Aren’t Fighting a Political Battle
Life is fascinating when you can see through the horrors, when you are willing to stand without running, and let it rip your heart out. It will. It will take every single person you love, everything you thought important, the innocents: the children, the soft and cuddly 4-leggeds, the mothers and fathers, sons and daughters, …
Death Doulas for a Country
I’m puzzled. Why are people surprised by the insane inane things the utterly dysfunctional administration is doing? We seem to be caught in a spiral of disbelief and unable to fight our way out of it without being pulled back in by the next bit of insanity. Maybe that is the reason: we are attempting …
The Radical Message of an Anarchist
Jesus, a brown-skinned man, was arrested by armed men in the middle of the night, put up for auction with Barabbas, and lost. His radical message, he message of anarchy, was simply too much for the establishment to allow as they shouted, ‘Kill him and bury him deep.’ What was his crime? Living as love, …
The Juice of Transformation
lies in the heart of chaos … Are you wondering whether you should leave your spiritual practices and spend your time resisting the harm being done? Are you trying to decide if you should quit spending so much time on your own baggage and instead, help to allay the suffering of others? Your wondering is …
Today I Grieve
Today I am grieving. Deeply. Painfully. Messily. Preciously. Not for the beloveds I’ve lost but for this world imploding about me. Maybe it’s nothing to grieve. Perhaps it was never worth the love I gave it. Maybe this country has always been the monster in the closet that everyone cowered from while smiling and pretending …
Back Where I Started
Rather than spending time discussing whose version is right and whose is wrong, I think I’ll spend the rest of my life with everyday people, those who are simply living, loving, doing their best with the life they’ve been given, and let them show me their secrets. I’d like to know people better, to see …
Why Would Anyone Want to Wake Up?
Arguing with life, stressing out over what’s here and what’s not, makes you and everyone around you miserable. Most of us look for ways to make life better, but what if there is no way? How many years have you been at it, trying to win the unwinnable game? You win one and lose two. …
Every Moment is the Rabbit Hole
Most mornings, Sophia and I go down the rabbit hole, no, really. That’s what one of the trails at Whipple Creek is called. Whipple is our favorite of many great walks here in Southern Washington. The great news is that it’s less than two miles from my front door. What a treat! Every time …
Authentic Love: Lessons from Jesus’ Teachings
I recently wrote about loving as Jesus did. It sounds yummy but it has a hitch in its get-along. You see, Jesus didn’t just love the easy ones, the ones who followed him, who thought like he did. He loved the tax collectors, the prostitutes, the Samaritans, the lepers, and he even loved those who …
Windows to the Soul
That woman, the one who’s not crying, the daughter of your friend who just died, you never really know the story, the reasons why, not even the reason behind the reasons, her life’s story that blocks her tears, the hurt that’s bottled up so tight she mustn’t let it out, the pain that must be …
Amaya Gayle 