I thought it was me. All those years I thought it was me, that I wasn’t—smart enough, pretty enough, clever enough, good enough—you know, loveable. Something didn’t add up, but I didn’t know what it was, so the only answer left to me was to try harder. I carefully picked out clothes and counted every …
Category Archives: illusion
Disbelieving Appearances: A Path to Aliveness
It’s a conundrum. I have no idea what is of the greatest value. I find it important to share what is happening in our world, and yet I can’t help but think that the sharing is redundant, that you already know about the world’s depravity, its deep dive into cruelty, its lack of a heart-based …
Demolishing the Illusion of Safety
The greatest gift these times are giving us is the demolition of the illusion of safety. On the surface it sounds like a good idea, to feel safe. Everyone says safety is critical to our ability to be honest with ourselves and others, but when we are cushioned within the illusion of safety, what are …
Owning My Experience
… EVEN WHEN IT CONFLICTS WITH MY PREFERRED SELF-IMAGE OF A LOVING HUMAN Life constantly reminds me to be observant of what’s happening within, and honest, absolutely real about owning my experience. Whenever I get pulled into the right-wrong game, it is sufficiently painful to slow me down, like life saying, take it down a …
The Plague of Seriousity that Consumes Most Lives
By many of the comments my posts receive or messages that are sent, it seems that a lot of people see me as a bit of a paradox. The questions that float in the air are understandable. Heck, in fact I’d be surprised if they weren’t. Minds want to understand even though that is impossible, …
Stepping Forward into the Despair
I’m not sure I can even write about this or if there is any point to writing anything at all, but alas, it seems I cannot not. Writing is what flows through me, an avatar, a seemingly personalized window into the here-now. This one is no more important than yours. It is simply my unique …
The Collapse of Soul-deep Resistance
There has been resistance deep in my soul. I, like so many, have always found it agonizing when people are hateful to one another, when we act in ways that are beyond this sensitive’s ability to comprehend. It wounds me in ways no words could ever truly express when humans act like monsters, when my …
The Enchanting Alternative World
What a wonder each day is! Today turned the key of pure delight. It started with a walk in the woods, a visit to the gnome trail, and Sophia joyfully splashing in the little creek both coming and going and segued into planting a field of flowers where lawn once grew. The gnome trail is …
The Radical Message of an Anarchist
Jesus, a brown-skinned man, was arrested by armed men in the middle of the night, put up for auction with Barabbas, and lost. His radical message, he message of anarchy, was simply too much for the establishment to allow as they shouted, ‘Kill him and bury him deep.’ What was his crime? Living as love, …
When Nothing is Left of the Dream
I see what I need to see, the perfect thing to move me along my unique path. Infinite worlds are appearing as one, taking on the mantle of sky and earth, of rich greens and the spectrum of blues, and yet, colored by how I look, the stories within my heart and mind, the expectations …
Storybook Lives
Now don’t get pissed. Guessing a few of you will, but oh well, this is what’s coming through today. Each of us is a master storyteller living our own unique version of life. We think that our story is THE story, that our truth is THE truth. It isn’t. It is just our version of …
Oh God! What a Zoo!!
Fearing life, not wanting to feel it twist the body, trying not to experience life’s myriad bouts of suffering as they come – the aching sense of lack, the surety of loss, the dread of betrayal and being deemed unworthy, the roiling belly, your shoulders up around your ears like skin and bone earrings, some …
This Sucks
It’s so easy to get sucked into the insanity, but ask yourself, who or what gets sucked? That part of you who believes you’re right and that what’s happening is wrong gets sucked into the void of crazy town, not the present moment awareness in which that sucking sound appears, but the idea, the concept, …
The Self: Mind’s Masterpiece
There’s an infinitesimal tipping point, a razor’s edge of sorts, where the individuated mind assumes control, or seems to, but of course, it doesn’t really. It’s that breath where the pause between thoughts, the spaciousness of beingness, is stealthily overwritten by identity. It’s a spellbinding miracle, that nothing creates something out of nothing, or the …
The Story Writes Itself
It’s quite unsettling, and that’s not a bad thing, to recognize that this is all mind and what most call mind actually knows nothing. Another frickin’ paradox. Yup. It’s all paradox. Isn’t that a hoot! What we think of as ourselves is actually living, breathing paradox. Now that statement is bound to piss off a …
Amaya Gayle 