I thought it was me. All those years I thought it was me, that I wasn’t—smart enough, pretty enough, clever enough, good enough—you know, loveable. Something didn’t add up, but I didn’t know what it was, so the only answer left to me was to try harder. I carefully picked out clothes and counted every …
Tag Archives: awakening
Disbelieving Appearances: A Path to Aliveness
It’s a conundrum. I have no idea what is of the greatest value. I find it important to share what is happening in our world, and yet I can’t help but think that the sharing is redundant, that you already know about the world’s depravity, its deep dive into cruelty, its lack of a heart-based …
An Ode to Hopelessness
If I was focused on the insanity around me, I would be sleepless, anxious, and quite rightly, unhinged. Some say I’m already that last one so I’m guessing I haven’t far to go to get there, wherever there is. Good thing there is no there, only here and the idea, the thought, the belief in …
Escapism: an endless litany of prayers
Can anyone escape reality? We try, oh how we try. Religion of all sorts is an attempt to escape our current experience, to put aside or behind the very real visceral sensations, emotions, thoughts and feelings about what’s here now. Whether the religion is money, one defined by a divine master, non-duality (there ain’t nothing …
Are you afraid to die? If you said ‘no’, are you sure?
Why do you suppose most people are afraid to die? Yeah, I know. Not you. You’ve got it dialed in. You’re not afraid, you’d just rather it wasn’t today, or it wasn’t painful, or it wasn’t a burden to those you love, or you didn’t have to suffer. Most have their own conditions on death. …
Demolishing the Illusion of Safety
The greatest gift these times are giving us is the demolition of the illusion of safety. On the surface it sounds like a good idea, to feel safe. Everyone says safety is critical to our ability to be honest with ourselves and others, but when we are cushioned within the illusion of safety, what are …
The Bridge Between Worlds is Breaking
Years back I was given a vision that has become clearer as time has passed, and we have moved into its undeniable reality. This isn’t the first time I’ve shared it but it is the first time that I actually feel that I understand its full meaning. I saw a bridge.The bridge reminded me of …
Owning My Experience
… EVEN WHEN IT CONFLICTS WITH MY PREFERRED SELF-IMAGE OF A LOVING HUMAN Life constantly reminds me to be observant of what’s happening within, and honest, absolutely real about owning my experience. Whenever I get pulled into the right-wrong game, it is sufficiently painful to slow me down, like life saying, take it down a …
A Bedtime Story
Are you ready for your bedtime story. You are? Okay, then snuggle down into the blankets and put your sweet little head on that fluffy pillow. Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Luna, who lived in the fairytale woods. She had a puppy dog, Miss Soffie, a cat called Cat, and …
Estrangement:, the ultimate appearance of separation
For most of us, programming determines every step we take. It tells us who we are supposed to be, what we should do and not do, who we must love and who should love us regardless of what we do and how we behave. It also stealthily flips our inner switch to guilt when we …
If this was my last day on earth
What would I choose to do if this was my last day on earth? It’s a fetching question to play with. It’s been floating around in awareness for a couple of days now. Would I go for a walk in the woods and thrill my senses with nature? Would I take in the scents and …
… and that’s a miracle
An errant thought passed through my oft empty mind as I was slipping into sleep and made me smile. We love and feel it fall apart; we lose loved ones and some we love, betray us. On this earth walk, we are tragically wounded and have our hearts broken. It is unavoidable. And even so, …
Stepping Forward into the Despair
I’m not sure I can even write about this or if there is any point to writing anything at all, but alas, it seems I cannot not. Writing is what flows through me, an avatar, a seemingly personalized window into the here-now. This one is no more important than yours. It is simply my unique …
Wonderful Ugly Habitual Creative Blame
Blame. Seems it’s a human trait. Habitual, for sure. Perhaps to be human is to blame, or at least to be caught up in separation, is to blame. I’ve been blamed and I’ve blamed. It’s like a hot potato we throw around, never truly catching it, mostly tossing it right back as soon as the …
Trying to Make Life Sit and Stay
7 lessons learned the hard way Whatever practice resonates with you, do that. It’s not as if you could choose not to. Just don’t expect it to end suffering, not the worlds, nor yours. Damn those expectations. 😉 Practices are everywhere. They come in all shapes and forms, some you’d call a practice and …
Amaya Gayle 