I thought it was me. All those years I thought it was me, that I wasn’t—smart enough, pretty enough, clever enough, good enough—you know, loveable. Something didn’t add up, but I didn’t know what it was, so the only answer left to me was to try harder. I carefully picked out clothes and counted every …
Tag Archives: mental-health
Disbelieving Appearances: A Path to Aliveness
It’s a conundrum. I have no idea what is of the greatest value. I find it important to share what is happening in our world, and yet I can’t help but think that the sharing is redundant, that you already know about the world’s depravity, its deep dive into cruelty, its lack of a heart-based …
An Ode to Hopelessness
If I was focused on the insanity around me, I would be sleepless, anxious, and quite rightly, unhinged. Some say I’m already that last one so I’m guessing I haven’t far to go to get there, wherever there is. Good thing there is no there, only here and the idea, the thought, the belief in …
Escapism: an endless litany of prayers
Can anyone escape reality? We try, oh how we try. Religion of all sorts is an attempt to escape our current experience, to put aside or behind the very real visceral sensations, emotions, thoughts and feelings about what’s here now. Whether the religion is money, one defined by a divine master, non-duality (there ain’t nothing …
Demolishing the Illusion of Safety
The greatest gift these times are giving us is the demolition of the illusion of safety. On the surface it sounds like a good idea, to feel safe. Everyone says safety is critical to our ability to be honest with ourselves and others, but when we are cushioned within the illusion of safety, what are …
Estrangement:, the ultimate appearance of separation
For most of us, programming determines every step we take. It tells us who we are supposed to be, what we should do and not do, who we must love and who should love us regardless of what we do and how we behave. It also stealthily flips our inner switch to guilt when we …
The Plague of Seriousity that Consumes Most Lives
By many of the comments my posts receive or messages that are sent, it seems that a lot of people see me as a bit of a paradox. The questions that float in the air are understandable. Heck, in fact I’d be surprised if they weren’t. Minds want to understand even though that is impossible, …
Wonderful Ugly Habitual Creative Blame
Blame. Seems it’s a human trait. Habitual, for sure. Perhaps to be human is to blame, or at least to be caught up in separation, is to blame. I’ve been blamed and I’ve blamed. It’s like a hot potato we throw around, never truly catching it, mostly tossing it right back as soon as the …
Trying to Make Life Sit and Stay
7 lessons learned the hard way Whatever practice resonates with you, do that. It’s not as if you could choose not to. Just don’t expect it to end suffering, not the worlds, nor yours. Damn those expectations. 😉 Practices are everywhere. They come in all shapes and forms, some you’d call a practice and …
We Aren’t Fighting a Political Battle
Life is fascinating when you can see through the horrors, when you are willing to stand without running, and let it rip your heart out. It will. It will take every single person you love, everything you thought important, the innocents: the children, the soft and cuddly 4-leggeds, the mothers and fathers, sons and daughters, …
The Last Domino to Fall
Inzicht Magazine, in the Netherlands, recently invited me to write an article for them. The article titled, The Last Domino to Fall, was in the May edition. If you are fluent in Dutch, you can read it there. If not, I am posting the English version. It is a bit longer than my normal pieces, but worth …
The Enchanting Alternative World
What a wonder each day is! Today turned the key of pure delight. It started with a walk in the woods, a visit to the gnome trail, and Sophia joyfully splashing in the little creek both coming and going and segued into planting a field of flowers where lawn once grew. The gnome trail is …
Flip Flop, Flip Flop, Flip
I’ve been watching how this body-mind is organically moved into action, the way emotions trickle or flood in and movement occurs. These inputs, sensations, threads of thought, are not consciously chosen. They simply appear. The sensations and thoughts create the many flavors of life, the delicious bits I savor, the inedible mouthfuls I attempt to …
When Nothing is Left of the Dream
I see what I need to see, the perfect thing to move me along my unique path. Infinite worlds are appearing as one, taking on the mantle of sky and earth, of rich greens and the spectrum of blues, and yet, colored by how I look, the stories within my heart and mind, the expectations …
A World Turned Inside Out
I realized something today. Well, actually I’ve been quietly ignoring it for a while now. Sometimes when I write, I hold a glimmer of hope that loved ones will read my words and awaken to the harm and suffering that their staunch support of this administration is causing. Maybe you know someone like that too. …
Amaya Gayle 