It is such a paradox, a bloomin’ conundrum, a question for the ages: If I don’t actually exist, why does it feel like I have choice, like I make decisions?
Either the mystics are wrong and you do exist, or there’s more to this than meets the eye.
This question plagued my existence for years. If I was going to have a philosophical discussion it was always about free will. I’d argue it from either side. It didn’t matter to me. Some days I had it,; other days it was absolutely clear that it never did nor could exist.
Seems like it would have been so easy if the answer was clear — no free will; okay stop worrying and let go. Free will; okay, get busy girl. But it was never clear. I was always stuck in the middle, standing on the street corner at the intersection of Surrender and Control. Of course, if I didn’t have free will how could I surrender or take control, wouldn’t that be out of my control too?
Until that moment, that precious unveiling … the gift that keeps right on giving, exploding like a sweet tart plum, the last one hanging on the tree during the dog days of summer! Just when you think you know what it is, it opens more fully, the taste shifts into a holy new fragrance, surpassing the best blessed memories of itself.
Whatever I write will change. That seems to be guaranteed. This, of course, is my current best understanding, nothing more.
The idea of no free will has haunted mankind forever. The truth is actually far worse (or better) than that.
Choices are made. Decisions take place. It’s the chooser, the decider that is in question. What most think they are is smoke and mirrors on the Consciousness carnival ride. Consciousness Is. We are not. The play of Consciousness, the activity of Consciousness is all that is. Amaya is a character in the play. She can’t decide or choose anymore than a character in a movie can alter the script. While Amaya doesn’t have free will (no character does) Consciousness decides and chooses through her form and all the other forms in Its creation. That’s it’s nature. It is Consciousness which sees through the eyes of Amaya. Consciousness is aware, not Amaya.
The reason humans want free will is they want to change the script. If we didn’t want a different story it wouldn’t matter to us. It is always the character who wants free will not the truth of who we are. When one sinks back and back and back, past the beliefs, the emotions and perceptions into knowingly aware consciousness the veils fall away, the game is seen for what it is and Consciousness is seen to be what we are — not separate consciousnesses but Consciousness, undivided, infinite and eternal. As That, the storyline simply doesn’t matter.
As Krishnamurti said, ‘I don’t mind what happens.’ Rich or poor, sick or well, famous or a hermit monk — it doesn’t matter because no one is here to mind.
Free will exists but it doesn’t belong to any ‘me’. Free will is the nature of our shared True Nature. It can and does manifest in infinitely creative displays. It is free to create the cosmos and salamanders, super novas and puppy dogs, human beings and super viruses. It is free to create as It wills.
It feels like you have free will because you do, just not in the way you think. You, who you truly are, do. You always knew deep down that you were more, now didn’t you!