I realized something today. Well, actually I’ve been quietly ignoring it for a while now. Sometimes when I write, I hold a glimmer of hope that loved ones will read my words and awaken to the harm and suffering that their staunch support of this administration is causing. Maybe you know someone like that too. …
Tag Archives: mental-health
Dread: Meeting the failure of compassion
What’s going to happen is going to happen, including all the actions I am going to take or not take. Perhaps more importantly, what’s happening is what’s happening and there is nothing I can do about what’s here right now. Despite these material realities, or at least my realities, I occasionally find myself a bit …
Righteous Anger
I do not look away. I feel the suffering. I allow it in without filters. I am present, so I know that what is arising now is not the fallout of not feeling, of denial, of ignorance, willful or otherwise. What is arising now is anger, righteous anger, anger at those who see nothing wrong …
Th e Meaning We Give It
The problem with manifestation gimmicks is sometimes they appear to work. If they never did, you wouldn’t beat yourself mercilessly when your personal ship of state appeared to float or sink. Success now and again, even success a great deal of the time, doesn’t mean you figured it out, that you did it, or that …
Today I Grieve
Today I am grieving. Deeply. Painfully. Messily. Preciously. Not for the beloveds I’ve lost but for this world imploding about me. Maybe it’s nothing to grieve. Perhaps it was never worth the love I gave it. Maybe this country has always been the monster in the closet that everyone cowered from while smiling and pretending …
This Sucks
It’s so easy to get sucked into the insanity, but ask yourself, who or what gets sucked? That part of you who believes you’re right and that what’s happening is wrong gets sucked into the void of crazy town, not the present moment awareness in which that sucking sound appears, but the idea, the concept, …
I don’t have a lot of interest in improving the world …
I don’t have a lot of interest in improving the world anymore or any capacity to see it as needing improvement. Life as it is, is what’s here and playing make believe or pretend no longer grabs my attention in any way, so call me whatever you like. I was never much of an activist, …
Ode to Sleeplessness
I sleep well most nights. This is something relatively new for me. For many years, I was a raging insomniac. I didn’t sleep well last night and found myself meditating around 4am, not so much to get to sleep but for something to pass the time. Sitting there, my pillow tucked behind my back, and …
Little Girl Lost: Finding Your Way Home
I am captivated by the term ‘childhood’ traumas. It’s as if we think they are locked into a place in time and don’t infect impact encamp and inbreed with this moment, affecting the beliefs we hold, acting on the ways we respond, impeding our ability to love, increasing our willingness to hate. They are always …
The Mind Trap
Today has been an interesting day. While mowing an acre of grass, taking a hoe to the vegetable garden, and enjoying a three-mile walk with Sophia, I’ve been pondering life, this appearance of duality that is physically dubious and yet remarkably, manifests shamelessly as the material world. It is the veritable impossible dream. I’ve been …
Waving Your Bubble Wand
Are you any less present when what you are present to is anger or hate? Granted, it feels crappy, but Is presence itself any less present when your skies are filled with intense black clouds? Can you not be present? Is that even possible? Wherever you go, there you are. You can’t get away from …
What are the Themes of Your Life?
The themes of a lifetime … have you recognized yours yet? Mine seem to be pretty common threads. There’s two and they tie together seamlessly: seeing my own worth and my willingness to give myself away. Are they basic themes for women? Not sure. Perhaps men are playing out these very same themes as well. …
Give Up Already!
Sleep, or should I say sleeplessness, will expose the parts of us still resonating in separation, still believing in personal power to alter reality … or so it is for me. If I just roll over, maybe the change of position will allow me to relax and let go. If I meditate while laying down, …
We have to be thoroughly trained
Throughout the years, we have been trained. Part of the training is to see others as trained, but not ourselves. Even though we are the others that others are trained to see as trained, we tend to miss that little nuance. The training says we must know what’s right and speak out when we see …
The Truth Lies in the Fire
There are times, even now, when the fact that I did my best wasn’t good enough. I know, deep down, that my life, and those it touched, couldn’t have been otherwise and yet, I ache with the recognition honed from years of new experiences fired in the kiln of inner work, that I hurt others, …
Amaya Gayle 