Magical Thinking (revisited)

… so many edits I rewrote the darn thing.

Magical thinking is often based in truth so it feels right, seems real. Something within us just knows it is true. And yet, living the reality it points to requires radical embodiment that nearly always lags behind the initial awakening.

Magical thinking is fun. It often opens the flow of cosmic insights. It can also be harmful when we believe we have transcended the effects of the 3D and no longer need to play by its rules when in fact our bodies haven’t quite caught up.

You may have had a shift in consciousness. You may even know without a question or doubt that everything is Awareness, that you as an individual do not exist. Waking up to the truth of who you are is the easy part. It takes the body a bit, sometimes a lot longer to assimilate the truth.

The body is a fusion of all our programming, all the hurt and trauma, all the desires and memories that we couldn’t or didn’t directly experience at the time. It is also a mash-up of the collective’s impressions. What happens to all others happens to each one of us. If an awakening is true, this understanding is undeniable. There is no me. There is no you. There is only Awareness and It is all-inclusive.

All impressions, the apparently good and bad, dissolve as they are brought into Awareness. Awareness tends the brokenness within. There is nothing to do but abide as Awareness. Who would do anything anyway? Remember, you don’t exist. The impressions don’t simply dissolve, wiping out all reference points in a flash. Would be nice if they did, or would it? Perhaps it’s like a butterfly ripped from its cocoon. Without the effort of breaking free it does not have the strength to fly.

It is a tricky balancing act to live as if, to disbelieve in appearances, and to be in the world while the recalibration takes place – in the world but not of it. Very tricky. We walk a razor’s edge. We continue to act from the individuated self, while cognizant that we are not separate at all, all the while feeling (especially physically) like we are. It requires that we listen more carefully than ever before to that still small voice and act from the deeper understanding that is growing within. Fear drives the separate self. Love is the natural responsiveness of what we are. We become adept at spotting fear in all its forms and listening only to the voice of love. We learn to disbelieve appearances, most of which are based in fear, while still taking appropriate actions in support of those appearances.  See how tricky it is.   

It is easy to say the words, to believe in magic, even to willingly trust that we will be okay and still not be aware of the unconscious fear gripping our lives. Often, at this point, we carefully hide our out of sync beliefs from ourselves, not wanting to admit that we aren’t yet willing or capable of disbelieving all the fearful stories we are accustomed to and take for granted. It makes no sense to us. It seems impossible to have powerfully experienced ourselves as Awareness but still act from the old programming of separation.

The body will resist integration while we vacillate between fear and love. Why? It’s really quite simple. When we are unwilling to act from love, we automatically maintain separation. Love is YES to life exactly as it is; fear is NO. Yes expands; no contracts. Rather than resting as Awareness, into This That Only Is, we contract back into separation, stepping back into duality. The moment that happens we are at the effect of a dualistic world. All magical bets are off. Until the compulsive, impulsive re-entry stops, until we stabilize body and mind as This, all our magical thinking is nothing more than wishful hopes and dreams, likely to lead us astray in the 3D.

Seeing that we are not; Awareness is, transcending our humanity, is only a first step, the first chapter in a never ending book. It is what many refer to as ascension. Stopping there is incomplete at best. When we are able to remain open, curious, and in love, the understanding expands and deepens, consuming all that we believed ourselves to be. There is no end to this expansion. Everything, everyone is ourself. There is no thing that is unworthy. Literally nothing can be left behind.

It’s beautiful that so many find themselves awakening from the dream of separation into the reality that Awareness Is Dreaming it all. It is magical, mystical and so very ordinary. Nothing really changes other than awareness shifts from me to the Awareness in which the me arises, the body ever so patiently slips into aliveness, real and impeccably lived, and we know without a minutia of doubt who we’ve always been, who we are. Well, I guess that is something!

Don’t be in a hurry. Be where you are. It’s the wide and twisty, gloriously narrowing path, not the destination!

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