The biggest divider in our world is God. Not the actual God, but ideas about God, beliefs about who and what God is, sacred cows taking the form of deity, of rules and regulations, of do and don’t do, be and don’t be, of my way is the right way.

I have to stop a moment when I write, ‘actual God’, and ask myself, does God actually exist. The answer seems to exist in the mind of men, in the mind of that which in and of itself doesn’t actually exist, yet appears to, just like the idea of God. So, in one sense, as real and this creation is, God is.

It’s all a mind game, flavored in beliefs, spiced with thoughts and sometimes prayers (sorry, I couldn’t resist), rarely held up to the light of unfiltered experience. That takes too much work, holds too big a risk, offers little other than annihilation, or so it seems. So, few, only the rare and wildly crazy ones, are willing to knock on that door.

For the seeker, it feels safer to climb to the heights of bliss than to open the door of one’s shadow and walk into the heart of the dissonance. That’s too damn scary! But not as much as it seems it should be.

Maybe the willingness to assume that risk only comes when enough of the storyline has been seen through, when the fallacies we’ve been sold, that are crammed down our throats by a society intent on keeping us in the dark, in the game, in the storyline, begin to turn to dust.

Most on the spiritual path seek to rise up, to rise above, to see beyond the human experience, not realizing that true freedom lies within life, within the shadow, within the willingness and readiness to be with life as it is.

When you no longer mind what arises, and why mind when you see that what is, is what is and nothing you do will change what is into something it is not, there is a body-mind-soul relaxation, freedom from the stress and angst of life. It’s basic common sense. Stress is resistance to life as it is.

Relaxing into life as it is, not life as we want it to be, the need to lie to yourself expires. Gone is the impulse to remind yourself that life is wonderful, to gaslight yourself. Yes, life is wonderful, and it isn’t. It’s messy. Messy is the best word I can come up with since it points to the hodgepodge, the steep and unpredictable shifts, the on again, off again, happiness, the recurring themes of pain and loss. Life’s messy indeed.

The story goes that if your life isn’t all roses and sunshine, you’re doing something wrong. That’s one of the biggest lies ever told, one that is intended to keep you firmly planted in the game, resisting what is, and fighting tooth and nail to claw yourself into a better now. That’s the basis of advertising, of politics, of war, of hopes for peace.

Ah, sweetheart. Life is messy. It will never be all good, at least not as most define good. This is the plane of duality and that beautifully messy duality offers us the ability to experience everything: pain and loss, peace and happiness, scarcity and abundance, harmony and dissonance … it offers us the opportunity to see what life actuality is, to understand the lack of control and come to terms with it, to finally step up to the edge of life’s cliff and let it all go.

I love Samwise Gamgee. He’s my favorite character in The Lord of the Rings. His heart wasn’t corrupted by the ring, but then again, he didn’t have to carry it. He could let love lead, love for the shire, for Frodo, and for his friends. Frodo carried the weight, the literal weight of the world. He wouldn’t have made it far without Sam’s support.

Even so, neither one was the hero. When Frodo finally stood over the fires of Mt. Doom, he couldn’t let the ring go. He couldn’t throw the ring into the fire. After all that work, all the struggle, the ring claimed him. His mind overran his heart and the need for the power of the ring consumed him. Without Smeagol–Gollum–without his greed, his one-pointed fixation on the ring, the story would have turned out quite differently.

All parts of the story work together. Infinite aliveness doesn’t use only the so-called good parts. It utilizes it all, the heartbreaks and successes, the loss of beloveds and our body’s failings, the insanity of our world, our joys and passions, the lack of empathy and the knots in the pit of our stomachs, the deep sadness and ecstasy we hold within. It all counts. It’s all part of the unfolding, the awakening of humanity. It brings us to the edge.

Without the totality of our experiences, we couldn’t see where we are and if that feels whole. Without the willingness to stand right in the middle of life as it is, we can’t see the many options ahead. Without the experiences that came before, the experiences that built resilience and courage we stand at the edge and are consumed by mind’s fear.

Thank goodness that life, the living actuality is always working in our favor, in its favor, even when it doesn’t seem like it. We cannot fail. Failing is impossible. We are infinite aliveness Incarnating as humanity, as the world, as the universe. We are playing a cosmic game of hide ‘n seek, of being born asleep and experience by experience, waking up.

You can’t do this wrong. Relax if you can and if you can’t, it’s still okay. If you get lost, Samwise or Smeagol will show up to give you a little lift.

Image: Sam carrying Frodo, LOTR: The Return of the King

Amaya Gayle is the author of 6 books, the latest: Actuality; infinity at play, published by New Saram Press. https://amzn.to/3Rd4CTY