Walking this morning, I was noticing my body, paying attention to where it was tight and where it was … not loose, but effortless, almost non-existent in the physical sense. A prayer came to mind, and that was rather unusual, because prayer seems to have escaped me as I don’t know who I’d pray to.

Does God exist? Honestly, I don’t know. Could be. Could be that I haven’t the imagination to conceive of such a presence that doesn’t include everything, me included. Could be that word, God, is so laden with baggage that the truth of it is hidden. Could be that such a thing does not exist.

The prayer this morning was more of a permission slip than anything else. It wasn’t a treatise to a higher being, not even my higher being. It wasn’t looking for something outside of me, not a searchlight seeking the ‘I’ in the sky.

It was more like giving my body permission to release all the striving it has held for eons, to acknowledge the many ways I’ve tried and failed to hold it together, to fully feel how I’ve attempted to ground myself into a body that wasn’t mine to begin with, and to simply be here, to play my role with grace and ease.

Lately, I ‘ve been experiencing the fluctuations of the planet’s resonance, the shooting stars of solar flares as they flash and flicker within, the accumulating anger and angst of the planet’s 8.5 billion inhabitants, the worry and fear from moms and dads who aren’t certain they’ll be able to feed their children or keep a roof over their heads.

My first ventricular tachycardia was on a day the Schumann Resonance spiked, and spiked hard. All the heart stuff seems to connect up to resonance dots, to the earth’s electrical show. I haven’t experienced a lot of events since that first two years until lately. Maybe I acclimated. Maybe not. But now, as the earth is quaking, as the environment hits new extremes, as fire consumes and floods devastate, my sweet little body is quaking as well.

Shortly after my first v-tach, I started having what I called shock waves ripple through my body. They were an anomaly, uncaused and therefore, at least according to the staid constructs of medicine, unpreventable, just part of my life. I even noticed that when lightning was flashing outside, lightning flashed inside my body as well. I could literally feel the flash instantaneously with the thunder and lightning outside. It was wild.

We are more a part of everything than we realize.

To be honest, I am not surprised that my body is spiking rhythmically with the earthquakes across the world. I am only surprised that I was granted so long a reprieve before it all started again.

I’m an empath so it’s not like I can simply shut it down. I tried that growing up and it backfired spectacularly. Imagine filling up a balloon with water, filling it to overflowing and still letting the water flow until it blows the balloon apart. Water everywhere. It was something like that.

What I’ve had to learn is to be permeable, to feel what’s here and not hang onto it, to let it pass through like water through a sieve, but somedays, or some moments in a day, it’s just too much and my body catches, forgetting to breathe and it starts to build, to fill that balloon to the bursting point.

Some would say that this is the shift that has been predicted, the expansion of my humanity and my ability to hold a higher frequency. I have never been a proponent of the idea of a collective shift. It would be nice if it happens, but I won’t hold my breath for that one. It feels more like an inside job to me.

This is a plane of duality and inherent in duality is high and low, up and down, in and out … and perhaps that too is shifting. There’s a reason I love those three words, the most magical words ever spoken, ‘I don’t know’.

I just found it interesting that the prayer appeared unbidden. It simply arose out of nature’s void, out of surrender to life as it is. There was no need to be met, no attempt to fix or change it. And what was the response?

Permission. To be as I am. To feel what is here. To acknowledge the struggle. To set down the load.

Image: livescience.com

Amaya is the author of 7 books, the latest Actuality: infinity at play. It is available at Barnes and Noble, Amazon, and IngramSparks and others. Link to B&N https://bit.ly/4bXLFie

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