One of those ah-ha moments of insight dropped out of the ethers and hit me over the head today. I had heard the words before. I’d even written them. And yet … there I was a puddle of awe bowed humbly to the grace of the unfolding now.
I’m not sure I can put this into words — words that will transmit the message, but never a wimp when it comes to attempting to put the impossible into words here I go!
There is a reason we ache so much when we reject any part of life’s experience. There is purpose behind the magnetic pull to open our hearts and minds, body and soul regardless of how much it hurts. For the last several days I’ve been traversing deeper and deeper into what my mind considered the hell region — those areas of ego’s last stand — the realm of the unacceptable. Most of us don’t have to look too far to find something unacceptable: the death of a child, a war without reason, cruelty beyond imaginings … or something simpler like wanton stupidity or abject neglect.
In my case it was self-directed. I kept subtly circling back to repair my body, wanting it to behave like it was ‘supposed’ to. I held an image of what acceptable looked like and lately my body has failed the image miserably. I was sick and tired of having to deal with body stuff — I’d had enough, god-damnit. It was silly when you consider all the suffering going on in our world and yet, there it was. I was glued to that.
When I pulled the card this evening — trying to decide whether to write or skip a day — and ‘Incognito’ popped up the decision was made. It was the card’s mantra that jarred my reality. “I reify all identities, for I am that from which they arise.” There is only One thing happening here and it arises from within me. “I am everything; I am nothing at all.” I am Trump. I am the homeless beggar. I am the child in the cage. I am a Trump supporter. I am Soleimani lying in my coffin. I am the drone operator who pushed the button. I am an Iranian man protesting in the street with fire in my eyes. I am the soldier’s mother praying from my son to come home. I am it all.
If I refuse to feel any experience I deny myself. I dishonor the Divine imperative that is me. I cut out my eyes if I will not see. I block off the flow to my heart when I will not feel. I die a little bit with each refusal. What I am is Aliveness going incognito as everyone and everything and the only way I feel truly alive, in full recognition of my sacred lineage as God’s own Wild Child, is by cherishing each moment, embracing each experience regardless of its content — by honoring it all.
“Identity is nothing more than a game of pretend; every concept, idea or thought simply an overlay on perfection – the exquisite consummation of love you are. Perfection isn’t harmed by the ephemeral veneer; it remains uniquely perfect. Identityless, your experience of life alters from an emasculated version of restriction, mortality and lack to the intended ground of grace, unlimited and eternal, replete with harmonious abundance specifically designed for Source’s own wild child.” Card #32, Incognito — The Wild Child
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