What if nothing changes? What if the elusive prize you’ve chased most of your adult life doesn’t change anything? What if your life is still YOUR life, bumps and bruises included? What if your body doesn’t heal? What if you still live in a very small community of one? What if you find out you are not special and never were? What if all the dreams you had of what comes after you get there dissolve like a sugar cube in boiling water?
You still in?
What if the only thing that changes is you, is your fixation on all those things … and sorry to tell you this, but your bodymind is one of those things? What if you wake up and it doesn’t matter if you ever exercise again? If the house get painted this year, great. If not, oh well. You’ll get to it next year. Maybe. What if ALL the things you obsessed over simply stop mattering in the same way they did before? What if you are left with no reference points for how to live at all?
That doesn’t bode well for an improved life. at least not for the upgrade most chase. You might want to think about it. Try something else: self-improvement, a new job, a new guy. Really. This isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
You as you know yourself, the you who obsessed over stuff, the you who felt sadness, who felt joy, who was often contracted and enjoyed a sense of expansion, the you who had difficulty relaxing and the you who could let go, the you who lived in a world of self-doubt and self-negation, the you who knew you could do anything, who trusted yourself completely, is seen to be something else entirely, not exactly nothing, but that’s a likely stage of understanding.
Movement, activity continues just without the owner, the doer. Stuff gets done. To the rest of the world you appear normal — if there is such a thing as normal — with the exception of giggles and smiles, jokes that only you seem to understand, and a life immersed deep into Now regardless of what it looks like. If anything, seeing through the illusion, you are more isolated from the rest of the world … but it doesn’t matter, because for you, the world, all its inhabitants are nothing but YOU.
You see, you are everything and nothing, the infinite and the apparent finite, the All That Is — the all that isn’t a cumulation of everything but the Sourceless Source and all of its expressions.
Whether you are in or not, you are in. You are the whole and its parts. You are part of the prank whether you are in on it or not. It’s just a lot more fun being in on the joke.